The Shifty Lad

THE SHIFTY LAD

IN the land of Erin there dwelt long ago a widow who had an only son. He

was a clever boy, so she saved up enough money to send him to school,

and, as soon as he was old enough, to apprentice him to any trade that

he would choose. But when the time came, he said he would not be bound

to any trade, and that he meant to be a thief.

Now his mother was very sorrowful when she heard of this, but she knew

quite well that if she tried to stop his having his own way he would

only grow more determined to get it. So all the answer she made was that

the end of thieves was hanging at the bridge of Dublin, and then she

left him alone, hoping that when he was older he might become more

sensible.

One day she was going to church to hear a sermon from a great preacher,

and she begged the Shifty Lad, as the neighbours called him from the

tricks he played, to come with her. But he only laughed and declared

that he did not like sermons, adding:

'However, I will promise you this, that the first trade you hear named

after you come out from church shall be my trade for the rest of my

life.'

These words gave a little comfort to the poor woman, and her heart was

lighter than before as she bade him farewell.

When the Shifty Lad thought that the hour had nearly come for the sermon

to be over, he hid himself in some bushes in a little path that led

straight to his mother's house, and as she passed along, thinking of

all the good things she had heard, a voice shouted close to her ear

'Robbery! Robbery! Robbery!' The suddenness of it made her jump. The

naughty boy had managed to change his voice, so that she did not know it

for his, and he had concealed himself so well that, though she peered

about all round her, she could see no one. As soon as she had turned the

corner the Shifty Lad came out, and by running very fast through the

wood he contrived to reach home before his mother, who found him

stretched out comfortably before the fire.

'Well, have you got any news to tell me?' asked he.

'No, nothing; for I left the church at once, and did not stop to speak

to anyone.'

'Oh, then no one has mentioned a trade to you?' he said in tones of

disappointment.

'Ye--es,' she replied slowly. 'At least, as I walked down the path a

voice cried out "Robbery! Robbery! Robbery!" but that was all.'

'And quite enough too,' answered the boy. 'What did I tell you? That is

going to be my trade.'

'Then your end will be hanging at the bridge of Dublin,' said she. But

there was no sleep for her that night, for she lay in the dark thinking

about her son.

   *       *       *       *       *

'If he is to be a thief at all, he had better be a good one. And who is

there that can teach him?' the mother asked herself. But an idea came to

her, and she arose early, before the sun was up, and set off for the

home of the Black Rogue, or Gallows Bird, who was such a wonderful thief

that, though all had been robbed by him, no one could catch him.

'Good-morning to you,' said the woman as she reached the place where the

Black Gallows Bird lived when he was not away on his business. 'My son

has a fancy to learn your trade. Will you be kind enough to teach him?'

'If he is clever, I don't mind trying,' answered the Black Gallows Bird;

'and, of course, if any one can turn him into a first-rate thief, it

is I. But if he is stupid, it is no use at all; I can't bear stupid

people.'

'No, he isn't stupid,' said the woman with a sigh. 'So to-night, after

dark, I will send him to you.'

The Shifty Lad jumped for joy when his mother told him where she had

been.

'I will become the best thief in all Erin!' he cried, and paid no heed

when his mother shook her head and murmured something about 'the bridge

of Dublin.'

Every evening after dark the Shifty Lad went to the home of the Black

Gallows Bird, and many were the new tricks he learned. By and bye he was

allowed to go out with the Bird and watch him at work, and at last there

came a day when his master thought that he had grown clever enough to

help in a big robbery.

'There is a rich farmer up there on the hill, who has just sold all his

fat cattle for much money and has bought some lean ones which will cost

him little. Now it happens that, while he has received the money for the

fat cattle, he has not yet paid the price of the thin ones, which he has

in the cowhouse. To-morrow he will go to the market with the money in

his hand, so to-night we must get at the chest. When all is quiet we

will hide in the loft.'

There was no moon, and it was the night of Hallowe'en, and everyone was

burning nuts and catching apples in a tub of water with their hands

tied, and playing all sorts of other games, till the Shifty Lad grew

quite tired of waiting for them to get to bed. The Black Gallows Bird,

who was more accustomed to the business, tucked himself up on the hay

and went to sleep, telling the boy to wake him when the merry-makers had

departed. But the Shifty Lad, who could keep still no longer, crept down

to the cowshed and loosened the heads of the cattle which were tied, and

they began to kick each other and bellow, and made such a noise that

the company in the farmhouse ran out to tie them up again. Then the

Shifty Lad entered the room and picked up a big handful of nuts, and

returned to the loft, where the Black Rogue was still sleeping. At first

the Shifty Lad shut his eyes too, but very soon he sat up, and, taking a

big needle and thread from his pocket, he sewed the hem of the Black

Gallows Bird's coat to a heavy piece of bullock's hide that was hanging

at his back.

By this time the cattle were all tied up again, but as the people could

not find their nuts they sat round the fire and began to tell stories.

'I will crack a nut,' said the Shifty Lad.

'You shall not,' cried the Black Gallows Bird; 'they will hear you.'

'I don't care,' answered the Shifty Lad. 'I never spent Hallowe'en yet

without cracking a nut'; and he cracked one.

   *       *       *       *       *

'Some one is cracking nuts up there,' said one of the merry-makers in

the farmhouse. 'Come quickly, and we will see who it is.'

He spoke loudly, and the Black Gallows Bird heard, and ran out of the

loft, dragging the big leather hide after him which the Shifty Lad had

sewed to his coat.

'He is stealing my hide!' shouted the farmer, and they all darted after

him; but he was too swift for them, and at last he managed to tear the

hide from his coat, and then he flew like a hare till he reached his old

hiding-place. But all this took a long time, and meanwhile the Shifty

Lad got down from the loft, and searched the house till he found the

chest with the gold and silver in it, concealed behind a load of straw

and covered with loaves of bread and a great cheese. The Shifty Lad

slung the money bags round his shoulders and took the bread and the

cheese under his arm, then set out quietly for the Black Rogue's house.

'Here you are at last, you villain!' cried his master in great wrath.

'But I will be revenged on you.'

'It is all right,' replied the Shifty Lad calmly. 'I have brought what

you wanted'; and he laid the things he was carrying down on the ground.

'Ah! you are the better thief,' said the Black Rogue's wife; and the

Black Rogue added:

'Yes, it is you who are the clever boy'; and they divided the spoil, and

the Black Gallows Bird had one half and the Shifty Lad the other half.

   *       *       *       *       *

A few weeks after that the Black Gallows Bird had news of a wedding that

was to be held near the town; and the bridegroom had many friends and

everybody sent him a present. Now a rich farmer who lived up near the

moor thought that nothing was so useful to a young couple when they

first began to keep house as a fine fat sheep, so he bade his shepherd

go off to the mountain where the flock were feeding, and bring him back

the best he could find. And the shepherd chose out the largest and

fattest of the sheep and the one with the whitest fleece; then he tied

its feet together and put it across his shoulder, for he had a long way

to go.

That day the Shifty Lad happened to be wandering over the moor, when he

saw the man with the sheep on his shoulder walking along the road which

led past the Black Rogue's house. The sheep was heavy and the man was in

no hurry, so he came slowly and the boy knew that he himself could

easily get back to his master before the shepherd was even in sight.

'I will wager,' he cried, as he pushed quickly through the bushes which

hid the cabin--'I will wager that I will steal the sheep from the man

that is coming before he passes here.'

'Will you indeed?' said the Gallows Bird. 'I will wager you a hundred

silver pieces that you can do nothing of the sort.'

'Well, I will try it, anyway,' replied the boy, and disappeared in the

bushes. He ran fast till he entered a wood through which the shepherd

must go, and then he stopped, and taking off one of his shoes smeared it

with mud and set it in the path. When this was done he slipped behind a

rock and waited.

Very soon the man came up, and, seeing the shoe lying there, he stopped

and looked at it.

'It is a good shoe,' he said to himself, 'but very dirty. Still, if I

had the fellow, I would be at the trouble of cleaning it'; so he threw

the shoe down again and went on.

The Shifty Lad smiled as he heard him, and, picking up the shoe, he

crept round by a short way and laid the other shoe on the path. A few

minutes after the shepherd arrived, and beheld the second shoe lying on

the path.

'Why, that is the fellow of the dirty shoe!' he exclaimed when he saw

it. 'I will go back and pick up the other one, and then I shall have a

pair of good shoes,' and he put the sheep on the grass and returned to

fetch the shoe. Then the Shifty Lad put on his shoes, and, picking up

the sheep, carried it home. And the Black Rogue paid him the hundred

marks of his wager.

When the shepherd reached the farmhouse that night he told his tale to

his master, who scolded him for being stupid and careless, and bade him

go the next day to the mountain and fetch him a kid, and he would send

that as a wedding gift. But the Shifty Lad was on the lookout, and hid

himself in the wood, and the moment the man drew near with the kid on

his shoulders began to bleat like a sheep, and no one, not even the

sheep's own mother, could have told the difference.

[Illustration: THE SHOE IN THE ROAD]

'Why, it must have got its feet loose, and have strayed after all,'

thought the man; and he put the kid on the grass and hurried off in the

direction of the bleating. Then the boy ran back and picked up the

kid, and took it to the Black Gallows Bird.

The shepherd could hardly believe his eyes when he returned from seeking

the sheep and found that the kid had vanished. He was afraid to go home

and tell the same tale that he had told yesterday; so he searched the

wood through and through till night was nearly come. Then he felt that

there was no help for it, and he must go home and confess to his master.

Of course, the farmer was very angry at this second misfortune; but this

time he told him to drive one of the big bulls from the mountain, and

warned him that if he lost that he would lose his place also. Again

the Shifty Lad, who was on the watch, perceived him pass by, and when he

saw the man returning with the great bull he cried to the Black Rogue:

'Be quick and come into the wood, and we will try and get the bull

also.'

'But how can we do that?' asked the Black Rogue.

'Oh, quite easily! You hide yourself out there and baa like a sheep, and

I will go in the other direction and bleat like a kid. It will be all

right, I assure you.'

   *       *       *       *       *

The shepherd was walking slowly, driving the bull before him, when he

suddenly heard a loud baa amongst the bushes far away on one side of the

path, and a feeble bleat answering it from the other side.

'Why, it must be the sheep and the kid that I lost,' said he. 'Yes,

surely it must'; and tying the bull hastily to a tree, he went off after

the sheep and the kid, and searched the wood till he was tired. Of

course by the time he came back the two thieves had driven the bull home

and killed him for meat, so the man was obliged to go to his master and

confess that he had been tricked again.

After this the Black Rogue and the Shifty Lad grew bolder and bolder,

and stole great quantities of cattle and sold them and grew quite rich.

One day they were returning from the market with a large sum of money in

their pockets when they passed a gallows erected on the top of a hill.

'Let us stop and look at that gallows,' exclaimed the Shifty Lad. 'I

have never seen one so close before. Yet some say that it is the end of

all thieves.'

There was no one in sight, and they carefully examined every part of it.

'I wonder how it feels to be hung,' said the Shifty Lad. 'I should like

to know, in case they ever catch me. I'll try first, and then you can do

so.'

As he spoke he fastened the loose cord about his neck, and when it was

quite secure he told the Black Rogue to take the other end of the rope

and draw him up from the ground.

'When I am tired of it I will shake my legs, and then you must let me

down,' said he.

The Black Rogue drew up the rope, but in half a minute the Shifty Lad's

legs began to shake, and he quickly let it down again.

'You can't imagine what a funny feeling hanging gives you,' murmured the

Shifty Lad, who looked rather purple in the face and spoke in an odd

voice. 'I don't think you have ever tried it, or you wouldn't have let

me go up first. Why, it is the pleasantest thing, I have ever done. I

was shaking my legs from sheer delight, and if you had been there you

would have shaken your legs too.'

'Well, let me try, if it is so nice,' answered the Black Rogue. 'But be

sure you tie the knot securely, for I don't want to fall down and break

my neck.'

'Oh, I will see to that!' replied the Shifty Lad. 'When you are tired,

just whistle, and I'll let you down.'

[Illustration: HOW THE BLACK ROGUE WAS TRICKED]

So the Black Rogue was drawn up, and as soon as he was as high as the

rope would allow him to go the Shifty Lad called to him:

'Don't forget to whistle when you want to come down; but if you are

enjoying yourself as I did, shake your legs.'

And in a moment the Black Rogue's legs began to shake and to kick, and

the Shifty Lad stood below, watching him and laughing heartily.

'Oh, how funny you are! If you could only see yourself! Oh, you are

funny! But when you have had enough, whistle and you shall be let down';

and he rocked again with laughter.

But no whistle came, and soon the legs ceased to shake and to kick, for

the Black Gallows Bird was dead, as the Shifty Lad intended he should

be.

Then he went home to the Black Rogue's wife, and told her that her

husband was dead, and that he was ready to marry her if she liked. But

the woman had been fond of the Black Rogue, thief though he was, and she

shrank from the Shifty Lad in horror, and set the people after him, and

he had to fly to another part of the country where none knew of his

doings.

   *       *       *       *       *

Perhaps if the Shifty Lad's mother knew anything of all this, she may

have thought that by this time her son might be tired of stealing, and

ready to try some honest trade. But in reality he loved the tricks and

danger, and life would have seemed very dull without them. So he went on

just as before, and made friends whom he taught to be as wicked as

himself, till they took to robbing the king's storehouses, and by the

advice of the Wise Man the king sent out soldiers to catch the band of

thieves.

For a long while they tried in vain to lay hands on them. The Shifty Lad

was too clever for them all, and if they laid traps he laid better ones.

At last one night he stole upon some soldiers while they were asleep in

a barn and killed them, and persuaded the villagers that if they did

not kill the other soldiers before morning they would certainly be

killed themselves. Thus it happened that when the sun rose not a single

soldier was alive in the village.

Of course this news soon reached the king's ears, and he was very angry,

and summoned the Wise Man to take counsel with him. And this was the

counsel of the Wise Man--that he should invite all the people in the

countryside to a ball, and among them the bold and impudent thief would

be sure to come, and would be sure to ask the king's daughter to dance

with him.

'Your counsel is good,' said the king, who made his feast and prepared

for his ball; and all the people of the countryside were present, and

the Shifty Lad came with them.

When everyone had eaten and drunk as much as they wanted they went into

the ballroom. There was a great throng, and while they were pressing

through the doorway the Wise Man, who had a bottle of black ointment

hidden in his robes, placed a tiny dot on the cheek of the Shifty Lad

near his ear. The Shifty Lad felt nothing, but as he approached the

king's daughter to ask her to be his partner he caught sight of the

black dot in a silver mirror. Instantly he guessed who had put it there

and why, but he said nothing, and danced so beautifully that the

princess was quite delighted with him. At the end of the dance he bowed

low to his partner and left her, to mingle with the crowd that was

filling the doorway. As he passed the Wise Man he contrived not only to

steal the bottle, but to place two black dots on his face, and one on

the faces of twenty other men. Then he slipped the bottle back in the

Wise Man's robe.

[Illustration: THE CHILD FINDS OUT THE TRUTH]

By and bye he went up to the king's daughter again, and begged for the

honour of another dance. She consented, and while he was stooping to tie

the ribbons on his shoe she took out from her pocket another bottle,

which the Wizard had given her, and put a black dot on his cheek. But

she was not as skilful as the Wise Man, and the Shifty Lad felt the

touch of her fingers; so as soon as the dance was over he contrived to

place a second black dot on the faces of the twenty men and two more on

the Wizard, after which he slipped the bottle into her pocket.

   *       *       *       *       *

At length the ball came to an end, and then the king ordered all the

doors to be shut, and search made for a man with two black dots on his

cheek. The chamberlain went among the guests, and soon found such a man,

but just as he was going to arrest him and bring him before the king his

eye fell on another with the same mark, and another, and another, till

he had counted twenty--besides the Wise Man--on whose face were found

spots.

Not knowing what to do, the chamberlain hurried back with his tale to

the king, who immediately sent for the Wise Man, and then for his

daughter.

'The thief must have stolen your bottle,' said the king to the Wizard.

'No, my lord, it is here,' answered the Wise Man, holding it out.

'Then he must have got yours,' he cried, turning to his daughter.

'Indeed, father, it is safe in my pocket,' replied she, taking it out as

she spoke; and they all three looked at each other and remained silent.

'Well,' said the king at last, 'the man who has done this is cleverer

than most men, and if he will make himself known to me he shall marry

the princess and govern half my kingdom while I am alive, and the whole

of it when I am dead. Go and announce this in the ballroom,' he added to

an attendant, 'and bring the fellow hither.'

So the attendant went into the ballroom and did as the king had bidden

him, when, to his surprise, not one man, but twenty, stepped forward,

all with black dots on their faces.

'I am the person you want,' they all exclaimed at once, and the

attendant, as much bewildered as the chamberlain had been, desired them

to follow him into the king's presence.

But the question was too difficult for the king to decide, so he called

together his council. For hours they talked, but to no purpose, and in

the end they hit upon a plan which they might just as well have thought

of at the beginning.

And this was the plan. A child was to be brought to the palace, and next

the king's daughter would give her an apple. Then the child was to take

the apple and be led into a room where the twenty men with the black

dots were sitting in a ring. And to whomsoever the child gave the apple,

that man should marry the king's daughter.

'Of course,' said the king, 'it may not be the right man, after all, but

then again it may be. Anyhow, it is the best we can do.'

The princess herself led the child into the room where the twenty men

were now seated. She stood in the centre of the ring for a moment,

looking at one man after another, and then held out the apple to the

Shifty Lad, who was twisting a shaving of wood round his finger, and had

the mouthpiece of a bagpipe hanging from his neck.

'You ought not to have anything which the others have not got,' said the

chamberlain, who had accompanied the princess; and he bade the child

stand outside for a minute, while he took away the shaving and the

mouthpiece, and made the Shifty Lad change his place. Then he called the

child in, but the little girl knew him again, and went straight up to

him with the apple.

[Illustration: HOW THE SHIFTY LAD WAS HUNG ON DUBLIN BRIDGE]

'This is the man whom the child has twice chosen,' said the chamberlain,

signing to the Shifty Lad to kneel before the king. 'It was all quite

fair; we tried it twice over.' In this way the Shifty Lad won the king's

daughter, and they were married the next day.

   *       *       *       *       *

A few days later the bride and bridegroom were taking a walk together,

and the path led down to the river, and over the river was a bridge.

'And what bridge may this be?' asked the Shifty Lad; and the princess

told him that this was the bridge of Dublin.

'Is it indeed?' cried he. 'Well, now, many is the time that my mother

has said, when I played her a trick that my end would be that I should

hang on the bridge of Dublin.'

'Oh, if you want to fulfil her prophecies,' laughed the princess, 'you

have only to let me tie my handkerchief round your ankle, and I will

hold you as you hang over the wall of the bridge.'

'That would be fine fun,' said he; 'but you are not strong enough to

hold me up.'

'Oh yes, I am,' said the princess; 'just try.' So at last he let her

bind the handkerchief round his ankle and hang him over the wall, and

they both laughed and jested at the strength of the princess.

'Now pull me up again,' called he; but as he spoke a great cry arose

that the palace was burning. The princess turned round with a start, and

let go her handkerchief, and the Shifty Lad fell, and struck his head on

a stone, and died in an instant.

So his mother's prophecy had come true, after all.

West Highland Tales.