GOOSEY GRIZZEL

GOOSEY GRIZZEL

Once on a time there was a widower, who had a housekeeper named Grizzel, who

set her mutch at him and teazed him early and late to marry her. At last the

man got so weary of her, he was at his wits’ end to know how to get rid

of her. So it fell on a day, between hay time and harvest, the two went out to

pull hemp. Grizzel’s head was full of her good looks and her handiness,

and she worked away at the hemp till she grew giddy from the strong smell of

the ripe seed, and at last down she fell flat, fast asleep among the hemp.

While she slept, her master got a pair of scissors and cut her skirts short all

round, and then he rubbed her all over, face and all, first with tallow and

then with soot, till she looked worse than the Deil himself. So, when Grizzel

woke and saw how ugly she was, she didn’t know herself.

“Can this be me now?” said Grizzel. “Nay, nay! it can never

be me. So ugly have I never been; it’s surely the Deil himself?”

Well! that she might really know the truth, she went off and knocked at her

master’s door, and asked,

“Is your Girzie at home the day, father?”

“Aye, aye, our Girzie is at home safe enough”, said the man, who

wanted to be rid of her.

“Well, well!” she said to herself, “then I can’t be his

Grizzel,” and stole away; and right glad the man was, I can tell you.

So, when she had walked a bit she came to a great wood, where she met two

thieves. “The very men for my money, thought Grizzel, “since I am

the Deil, thieves are just fit fellows for me.”

But the thieves were not of the same mind, not they. As soon as they set eyes

on her, they took to their heels as fast as they could, for they thought the

Evil One was come to catch them. But it was no good, for Grizzel was

long-legged and swift-footed, and she came up with them before they knew where

they were.

“If you’re going out to steal, I’ll go with you and

help,” said Grizzel, “for I know the whole country round.”

So, when the thieves heard that, they thought they had found a good mate, and

were no longer afraid.

Then they said they were off to steal a sheep, only they didn’t know

where to lay hold of one.

“Oh!” said Grizzel, “that’s a small matter, for I was

maid with a farmer ever so long out in the wood yonder, and I could find the

sheepfold, though the night were dark as pitch.”

The thieves thought that grand; and when they came to the place, Grizzel was to

go into the fold and turn out the sheep, and they were to lay hold on it. Now,

the sheepfold lay close to the wall of the room where the farmer slept, so

Grizzel crept quite softly and carefully into the fold; but, as soon as she got

in, she began to scream out to the thieves, “Will you have a wether or a

ewe? here are lots to choose from.”

“Hush, hush!” said the thieves, “only take one that is fine

and fat.”

“Yes, yes! but will you have a wether or a ewe? will you have a wether or

a ewe? for here are lots to choose from,” screeched Grizzel.

“Hush, hush!” said the thieves again, “only take one

that’s fine and fat; it’s all the same to us whether it’s a

wether or a ewe.”

“Yes!” screeched Grizzel, who stuck to her own; “but will you

have a wether or a ewe—a wether or a ewe? here are lots to choose

from.”

“Hold your jaw!” said the thieves, “and take a fine fat one,

wether or ewe, its all one to us.”

But just then out came the farmer in his shirt, who had been waked by all this

clatter, and wanted to see what was going on. So the thieves took to their

heels, and Grizzel after them, upsetting the farmer in her flight.

“Stop, boys! stop, boys!” she screamed; but the farmer, who had

only seen the black monster, grew so afraid that he could scarce stand, for he

thought it was the Deil himself that had been in his sheepfold. The only help

he knew was, to go indoors and wake up the whole house; and they all sat down

to read and pray, for he had heard that was the way to send the Deil about his

business.

Now the next night the thieves said they must go and steal a fat goose, and

Grizzel was to shew them the way. So when they came to the goosepen, Grizzel

was to go in and turn one out, for she knew the ways of the place, and the

thieves were to stand outside and catch it. But as soon as ever she got in she

began to scream,

“Will you have goose or gander? you may pick and choose here.”

“Hush hush! choose only a fine fat one”, said the thieves.

“Yes, yes! but will you have goose or gander—goose or gander? you

may pick and choose”, screamed Grizzel.

“Hush, hush! only choose one that’s fine and fat, and it’s

all one to us whether it’s goose or gander; but do hold your jaw”,

said they.

But while Grizzel and the thieves were settling this, one of the geese began to

cackle, and then another cackled, and then the whole flock cackled and hissed,

and out came the farmer to see what all the noise could mean, and away went the

thieves, and Grizzel after them, at full speed, and the farmer thought again it

was the black Deil flying away; for long-legged she was, and she had no skirts

to hamper her.

“Stop a bit, boys!” she kept on screaming, “you might as well

have said whether you would have goose or gander?”

But they had no time to stop, they thought; and, as for the farmer, he began to

read and pray with all his house, small and great, for they thought it was the

Deil, and no mistake.

Now, the third day, when night came, the thieves and Grizzel were so hungry

they did not know what to do; so they made up their minds to go to the larder

of a rich farmer, who lived by the wood’s side, and steal some food.

Well, off they went, but the thieves did not dare to venture themselves, so

Grizzel was to go up the steps which led to the larder, and hand the food out,

and the others were to stand below and take it from her. So when Grizzel got

inside, she saw the larder was full of all sorts of things, fresh meat and

salt, and sausages and oat-cake. The thieves begged her to be still, and just

throw out something to eat, and to bear in mind how badly they had fated for

two nights. But Grizzel stuck to her own, that she did.

“Will you have fresh meat, or salt, or sausages, or oat-cake? Just look,

what a lovely oat-cake”, she bawled out enough to split your head.

“You may have what you please, for here’s plenty to choose

from.”

But the farmer woke with all this noise, and ran out to see what it all meant.

As for the thieves, off they ran as fast as they could; but while the farmer

was looking after them, down came Grizzel so black and ugly.

“Stop a bit! stop a bit, boys!” she bellowed; “you may have

what you please, for there’s plenty to choose from.”

And when the farmer saw that ugly monster, he, too, thought the Deil was loose,

for he had heard what had happened to his neighbours the evenings before; so he

began both to read and pray, and every one in the whole parish began to read

and pray, for they knew that you could read the Deil away.

The next evening was Saturday evening, and the thieves wanted to steal a fat

ram for their Sunday dinner; and well they might, for they had fasted many

days. But they wouldn’t have Grizzel with them at any price. She brought

bad luck with her jaw, they said; so while Grizzel was walking about waiting

for them on Sunday morning, she got so awfully hungry—for she had fasted

for three days—that she went into a turnip-field and pulled up some

turnips to eat. But when the farmer who owned the turnips rose, he felt uneasy

in his mind, and thought he would just go and take a look at his turnips on the

Sunday morning. So he pulled on his trousers and went across the moss which lay

under the hill, where the turnip-field lay. But when he got to the bottom of

the field, he saw something black walking about in the field and pulling up his

turnips, and he soon made up his mind that it was the Deil. So away he ran home

as fast as he could, and said the Deil was among the turnips. This frightened

the whole house out of their wits, and they agreed they’d best send for

the priest, and get him to bind the Deil.

“That won’t do”, said the goodwife, “this is Sunday

morning, you’ll never get the priest to come; for either he’ll be

in bed; or if he’s up, he’ll be learning his sermon by

heart.”

“Oh!” said the goodman, “never fear; I’ll promise him a

fat loin of veal, and then he’ll come fast enough.”

So off he went to the priest’s house; but when he got there, sure enough,

the priest was still in bed. The maid begged the farmer to walk into the

parlour while she ran up to the priest, and said:

“Farmer So-and-So was downstairs, and wished to have a word with

him.”

Well! when the priest heard that such a worthy man was downstairs, he got up at

once, and came down just as he was, in his slippers and nightcap.

So the goodman told his errand; how the Deil was loose in his turnip-field;

and if the priest would only come and bind him, he would send him a fat loin of

veal. Yes! the priest was willing enough, and called out to his groom, to

saddle his horse, while he dressed himself.

“Nay, nay, father!” said the man; “the Deil won’t wait

for us long, and no one knows where we shall find him again if we miss him now.

Your reverence must come at once, just as you are.”

So the priest followed him just as he was, with the clothes he stood in, and

went off in his nightcap and slippers. But when they got to the moss, it was so

moist the priest couldn’t cross it in his slippers. So the goodman took

him on his back to carry him over. On they went, the goodman picking his way

from one clump to the other, till they got to the middle; then Grizzel caught

sight of them, and thought it was the thieves bringing the ram.

“Is he fat?” she screamed; “is he fat?” and made such a

noise that the wood rang again.

“The Deil knows if he’s fat or lean; I’m sure I

don’t”, said the goodman, when he heard that; “but, if you

want to know, you had better come yourself and see.”

And then he got so afraid, he threw the priest head over heels into the soft

wet moss, and took to his legs; and if the priest hasn’t got out, why I

dare say he’s lying there still.

THE LAD WHO WENT TO THE NORTH WIND Once on a time there was an old widow who had one son; and as she was poorly

and weak, her son had to go up into the safe to fetch meal for cooking; but

when he got outside the safe, and was just going down the steps, there came the

North Wind, puffing and blowing, caught up the meal, and so away with it

through the air. Then the lad went back into the safe for more; but when he

came out again on the steps, if the North Wind didn’t come again and

carry off the meal with a puff; and, more than that, he did so the third time.

At this the lad got very angry; and as he thought it hard that the North Wind

should behave so, he thought he’d just look him up, and ask him to give

up his meal. So off he went, but the way was long, and he walked and walked; but at last he

came to the North Wind’s house. “Good day!” said the lad, “and thank you for coming to see us

yesterday.” “GOOD DAY!” answered the North Wind, for his voice was loud and

gruff, “AND THANKS FOR COMING TO SEE ME. WHAT DO YOU WANT?” “Oh!” answered the lad, “I only wished to ask you to be so

good as to let me have back that meal you took from me on the safe steps, for

we haven’t much to live on; and if you’re to go on snapping up the

morsel we have, there’ll be nothing for it but to starve.” “I haven’t got your meal”, said the North Wind; “but if

you are in such need, I’ll give you a cloth which will get you everything

you want, if you only say, “Cloth, spread yourself, and serve up all kind

of good dishes!” With this the lad was well content. But, as the way was so long he

couldn’t get home in one day, so he turned into an inn on the way; and

when they were going to sit down to supper he laid the cloth on a table which

stood in the corner, and said, “Cloth, spread yourself, and serve up all kinds of good dishes.” He had scarce said so before the cloth did as it was bid; and all who stood by

thought it a fine thing, but most of all the landlady. So, when all were fast

asleep at dead of night, she took the lad’s cloth, and put another in its

stead, just like the one he had got from the North Wind, but which

couldn’t so much as serve up a bit of dry bread. So, when the lad woke, he took his cloth and went off with it, and that day he

got home to his mother. “Now”, said he, “I’ve been to the North Wind’s

house, and a good fellow he is, for he gave me this cloth, and when I only say

to it, ‘Cloth, spread yourself, and serve up all kind of good dishes’, I get

any sort of food I please.” “All very true, I daresay,” said his mother; “but seeing is

believing, and I shan’t believe it till I see it.” So the lad made haste, drew out a table, laid the cloth on it, and said: “Cloth, spread yourself, and serve up all kind of good dishes.” But never a bit of dry bread did the cloth serve up. “Well”, said the lad, “there’s no help for it but to go

to the North Wind again”; and away he went. So he came to where the North Wind lived late in the afternoon. “Good evening!” said the lad. “Good evening!” said the North Wind. “I want my rights for that meal of ours which you took”, said the

lad; “for, as for that cloth I got, it isn’t worth a penny.” “I’ve got no meal”, said the North Wind; “but yonder

you have a ram which coins nothing but golden ducats as soon as you say to it: ‘Rain, ram! make money!’ So the lad thought this a fine thing; but as it was too far to get home that

day, he turned in for the night to the same inn where he had slept before. Before he called for anything, he tried the truth of what the North Wind had

said of the ram, and found it all right; but, when the landlord saw that, he

thought it was a famous ram, and, when the lad had fallen asleep, he took

another which couldn’t coin gold ducats, and changed the two. Next morning off went the lad; and when he got home to his mother, he said: “After all, the North Wind is a jolly fellow; for now he has given me a

ram which can coin golden ducats if I only say ‘Ram, ram! make money.’” “All very true, I daresay”, said his mother; “but I

shan’t believe any such stuff until I see the ducats made.” “Ram, ram! make money!” said the lad; but if the Ram made anything,

it wasn’t money. So the lad went back again to the North Wind, and blew him up, and said the ram

was worth nothing, and he must have his rights for the meal. “Well!” said the North Wind; “I’ve nothing else to give

you but that old stick in the corner yonder; but it’s a stick of that

kind that if you say: “‘Stick, stick! lay on!’ it lays on till you say: ‘Stick, stick! now

stop!’” So, as the way was long, the lad turned in this night too to the landlord; but

as he could pretty well guess how things stood as to the cloth and the ram, he

lay down at once on the bench and began to snore, as if he were asleep. Now the landlord, who easily saw that the stick must be worth something, hunted

up one which was like it, and when he heard the lad snore, was going to change

the two; but, just as the landlord was about to take it, the lad bawled out:

“Stick, stick! lay on!” So the stick began to beat the landlord, till he jumped over chairs, and

tables, and benches, and yelled and roared: “Oh my! oh my! bid the stick be still, else it will beat me to death, and

you shall have back both your cloth and our ram.” When the lad thought the landlord had got enough, he said: “Stick, stick! now stop!” Then he took the cloth and put it into his pocket, and went home with his stick

in his hand, leading the ram by a cord round its horns; and so he got his

rights for the meal he had lost.