THE BEST WISH

THE BEST WISH

Once on a time there were three brothers; I don’t quite know how it

happened, but each of them had got the right to wish one thing, whatever he

chose. So the two elder were not long a-thinking; they wished that every time

they put their hands in their pockets they might pull out a piece of money;

for, said they:

“The man who has as much money as he wishes for is always sure to get on

in the world.”

But the youngest wished something better still. He wished that every woman he

saw might fall in love with him as soon as she saw him; and you shall soon hear

how far better this was than gold and goods.

So, when they had all wished their wishes, the two elder were for setting out

to see the world; and Boots, their youngest brother, asked if he mightn’t

go along with them; but they wouldn’t hear of such a thing.

“Wherever we go”, they said, “we shall be treated as counts

and kings; but you, you starveling wretch, who haven’t a penny, and never

will have one, who do you think will care a bit about you?”

“Well, but in spite of that, I’d like to go with you”, said

Boots; “perhaps a dainty bit may fall to my share too off the plates of

such high and mighty lords.”

At last, after begging and praying, he got leave to go with them, if he would

be their servant, else they wouldn’t hear of it.

So, when they had gone a day or so, they came to an inn, where the two who had

the money alighted, and called for fish and flesh, and fowl, and brandy and

mead, and everything that was good; but Boots, poor fellow, had to look after

their luggage and all that belonged to the two great people. Now, as he went to

and fro outside, and loitered about in the inn-yard, the innkeeper’s wife

looked out of window and saw the servant of the gentlemen upstairs; and, all at

once, she thought she had never set eyes on such a handsome chap. So she stared

and stared, and the longer she looked the handsomer he seemed.

“Why what, by the Deil’s skin and bones, is it that you are

standing there gaping at out of the window?” said her husband. “I

think ’twould be better if you just looked how the sucking pig is getting

on, instead of hanging out of window in that way. Don’t you know what

grand folk we have in the house to-day?”

“Oh!” said his old dame, “I don’t care a farthing about

such a pack of rubbish; if they don’t like it they may lump it, and be

off; but just do come and look at this lad out in the yard; so handsome a

fellow I never saw in all my born days; and, if you’ll do as I wish,

we’ll ask him to step in and treat him a little, for, poor lad, he seems

to have a hard fight of it.”

“Have you lost the little brains you had, Goody?” said the husband,

whose eyes glistened with rage; “into the kitchen with you, and mind the

fire; but don’t stand there glowering after strange men.”

So the wife had nothing left for it but to go into the kitchen, and look after

the cooking; as for the lad outside, she couldn’t get leave to ask him

in, or to treat him either; but just as she was about spitting the pig in the

kitchen, she made an excuse for running out into the yard, and then and there

she gave Boots a pair of scissors, of such a kind that they cut of themselves

out of the air the loveliest clothes any one ever saw, silk and satin, and all

that was fine.

“This you shall have because you are so handsome,” said the

innkeeper’s wife.

So when the two elder brothers had crammed themselves with roast and boiled,

they wished to be off again, and Boots had to stand behind their carriage, and

be their servant; and so they travelled a good way, till they came to another

inn. There the two brothers again alighted and went indoors, but Boots, who had

no money, they wouldn’t have inside with them; no, he must wait outside

and watch the luggage. “And mind”, they said, “if any one

asks whose servant you are, say we are two foreign Princes.”

But the same thing happened now as happened before; while Boots stood hanging

about out in the yard, the innkeeper’s wife came to the window and saw

him, and she too fell in love with him, just like the first innkeeper’s

wife; and there she stood and stared, for she thought she could never have her

fill of looking at him. Then her husband came running through the room with

something the two Princes had ordered.

“Don’t stand there staring like a cow at a barn-door, but take this

into the kitchen, and look after your fish-kettle, Goody”, said the man;

“don’t you see what grand people we have in the house

to-day?”

“I don’t care a farthing for such a pack of rubbish”, said

the wife; “if they don’t like what they get they may lump it, and

eat what they brought with them. But just do come here, and see what you shall

see! Such a handsome fellow as walks here, out in the yard, I never saw in all

my born days. Shan’t we ask him in and treat him a little; he looks as if

he needed it, poor chap?” and then she went on:

“Such a love! such a love!”

“You never had much wit, and the little you had is clean gone, I can

see”, said the man, who was much more angry than the first innkeeper, and

chased his wife back, neck and crop, into the kitchen.

“Into the kitchen with you, and don’t stand glowering after

lads”, he said.

So she had to go in and mind her fish-kettle, and she dared not treat Boots,

for she was afraid of her old man; but as she stood there making up the fire,

she made an excuse for running out into the yard, and then and there she gave

Boots a table-cloth, which was such that it covered itself with the best dishes

you could think of, as soon as it was spread out.

“This you shall have”, she said, “because you’re so

handsome.”

So when the two brothers had eaten and drank of all that was in the house, and

had paid the bill in hard cash, they set off again, and Boots stood up behind

their carriage. But when they had gone so far that they grew hungry again, they

turned into a third inn, and called for the best and dearest they could think

of.

“For”, said they, “we are two kings on our travels, and as

for our money, it grows like grass.”

Well, when the innkeeper heard that, there was such a roasting, and baking, and

boiling; why! you might smell the dinner at the next neighbour’s house,

though it wasn’t so very near; and the innkeeper was at his wits’

end to find all he wished to put before the two kings. But Boots, he had to

stand outside here too, and look after the things in the carriage.

So it was the same story over again. The innkeeper’s wife came to the

window and peeped out, and there she saw the servant standing by the carriage.

Such a handsome chap she had never set eyes on before; so she looked and

looked, and the more she stared the handsomer he seemed to the

innkeeper’s wife. Then out came the innkeeper, scampering through the

room, with some dainty which the travelling kings had ordered, and he

wasn’t very soft-tongued when he saw his old dame standing and glowering

out of the window.

“Don’t you know better than to stand gaping and staring there, when

we have such great folk in the house”, he said; “back into the

kitchen with you this minute, to your custards.”

“Well! well!” she said, “as for them, I don’t care a

pin. If they can’t wait till the custards are baked, they may go

without—that’s all. But do, pray, come here, and you’ll see

such a lovely lad standing out here in the yard. Why I never saw such a pretty

fellow in my life. Shan’t we ask him in now, and treat him a little, for

he looks as if it would do him good. Oh! what a darling! What a darling!”

“A wanton gadabout you’ve been all your days, and so you are

still”, said her husband, who was in such a rage he scarce knew which leg

to stand on; “but if you don’t be off to your custards this minute,

I’ll soon find out how to make you stir your stumps; see if I

don’t.”

So the wife had off to her custards as fast as she could, for she knew that her

husband would stand no nonsense; but as she stood there over the fire she stole

out into the yard, and gave Boots a tap.

“If you only turn this tap”, she said; “you’ll get the

finest drink of whatever kind you choose, both mead, and wine, and brandy; and

this you shall have because you are so handsome.”

So when the two brothers had eaten and drunk all they could, they started from

the inn, and Boots stood up behind again as their servant, and thus they drove

far and wide, till they came to a king’s palace. There the two elder gave

themselves out for two emperor’s sons, and as they had plenty of money,

and were so fine that their clothes shone again ever so far off, they were well

treated. They had rooms in the palace, and the king couldn’t tell how to

make enough of them. But Boots, who went about in the same rags he stood in

when he left home, and who had never a penny in his pocket, he was taken up by

the king’s guard, and put across to an island, whither they used to row

over all the beggars and rogues that came to the palace. This the king had

ordered, because he wouldn’t have the mirth at the palace spoilt by those

dirty blackguards; and thither, too, only just as much food as would keep body

and soul together was sent over everyday. Now Boots’ brothers saw very

well that the guard was rowing him over to the island, but they were glad to be

rid of him, and didn’t pay the least heed to him.

But when Boots got over there, he just pulled out his scissors and began to

snip and cut in the air; so the scissors cut out the finest clothes any one

would wish to see; silk and satin both, and all the beggars on the island were

soon dressed far finer than the king and all his guests in the palace. After

that, Boots pulled out his table-cloth, and spread it out, and so they got

food too, the poor beggars. Such a feast had never been seen at the

king’s palace, as was served that day at the Beggars’ Isle.

“Thirsty, too, I’ll be bound you all are”, said Boots, and

out with his tap, gave it a turn, and so the beggars got all a drop to drink;

and such ale and mead the king himself had never tasted in all his life.

So, next morning, when those who were to bring the beggars their food on the

island, came rowing over with the scrapings of the porridge-pots and

cheese-parings—that was what the poor wretches had—the beggars

wouldn’t so much as taste them, and the king’s men fell to

wondering what it could mean; but they wondered much more when they got a good

look at the beggars, for they were so fine the guard thought they must be

Emperors or Popes at least, and that they must have rowed to a wrong island;

but when they looked better about them, they saw they were come to the old

place.

Then they soon found out it must be he whom they had rowed out the day before

who had brought the beggars on the island all this state and bravery; and as

soon as they got back to the palace, they were not slow to tell how the man,

whom they had rowed over the day before, had dressed out all the beggars so

fine and grand that precious things fell from their clothes.

“And as for the porridge and cheese we took, they wouldn’t even

taste them, so proud have they got”, they said.

One of them, too, had smelt out that the lad had a pair of scissors which he

cut out the clothes with.

“When he only snips with those scissors up in the air he snips and cuts

out nothing but silk and satin”, said he.

So, when the Princess heard that, she had neither peace nor rest till she saw

the lad and his scissors that cut out silk and satin from the air; such a pair

was worth having, she thought, for with its help she would soon get all the

finery she wished for. Well, she begged the king so long and hard, he was

forced to send a messenger for the lad who owned the scissors; and when he came

to the palace, the Princess asked him if it were true that he had such and such

a pair of scissors, and if he would sell it to her. Yes, it was all true he had

such a pair, said Boots, but sell it he wouldn’t; and with that he took

the scissors out of his pocket, and snipped and snipped with them in the air

till strips of silk and satin flew all about him.

“Nay, but you must sell me these scissors”, said the Princess.

“You may ask what you please for them, but have them I must.”

No! Such a pair of scissors he wouldn’t sell at any price, for he could

never get such a pair again; and while they stood and haggled for the scissors,

the Princess had time to look better at Boots, and she too thought with the

innkeepers’ wives that she had never seen such a handsome fellow before.

So she began to bargain for the scissors over again, and begged and prayed

Boots to let her have them; he might ask many, many hundred dollars for them,

’twas all the same to her, so she got them.

“No! sell them I won’t”, said Boots; “but all the same,

if I can get leave to sleep one night on the floor of the Princess’

bedroom, close by the door, I’ll give her the scissors. I’ll do her

no harm, but if she’s afraid, she may have two men to watch inside the

room.”

Yes! the Princess was glad enough to give him leave, for she was ready to grant

him anything if she only got the scissors. So Boots lay on the floor inside the

Princess’ bedroom that night, and two men stood watch there too; but the

Princess didn’t get much rest after all; for when she ought to have been

asleep, she must open her eyes to look at Boots, and so it went on the whole

night. If she shut her eyes for a minute, she peeped out at him again the next,

such a handsome fellow he seemed to her to be.

Next morning Boots was rowed over to the Beggars’ isle again; but when

they came with the porridge scrapings and cheese parings from the palace, there

was no one who would taste them that day either, and so those who brought the

food were more astonished than ever. But one of those who brought the food

contrived to smell out that the lad who had owned the scissors owned also a

table-cloth, which he only needed to spread out, and it was covered with all

the good things he could wish for. So when he got back to the palace, he

wasn’t long before he said:

“Such hot joints and such custards I never saw the like of in the

king’s palace.”

And when the Princess heard that, she told it to the king, and begged and

prayed so long, that he was forced to send a messenger out to the island to

fetch the lad who owned the table-cloth; and so Boots came back to the palace.

The Princess must and would have the cloth of him, and offered him gold and

green woods for it, but Boots wouldn’t sell it at any price.

“But if I may have leave to lie on the bench by the Princess’

bed-side to-night, she shall have the cloth; but if she’s afraid, she is

welcome to set four men to watch inside the room.”

Yes! the Princess agreed to this, so Boots lay down on the bench by the

bed-side, and the four men watched; but if the Princess hadn’t much sleep

the night before, she had much less this, for she could scarce get a wink of

sleep; there she lay wide awake looking at the lovely lad the whole night

through, and after all, the night seemed too short.

Next morning Boots was rowed off again to the Beggars’ island, though

sorely against the Princess’ will, so happy was she to be near him; but

it was past praying for; to the island he must go, and there was an end of it.

But when those who brought the food to the beggars came with the porridge

scrapings and cheese parings, there wasn’t one of them who would even

look at what the king sent, and those who brought it didn’t wonder

either; though they all thought it strange that none of them were thirsty. But

just then, one of the king’s guard smelled out that the lad who had owned

the scissors and the table-cloth had a tap besides, which, if one only turned

it a little, gave out the rarest drink, both ale, and mead, and wine. So when

he came back to the palace, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut this time any

more than before; he went about telling high and low about the tap, and how

easy it was to draw all sorts of drink out of it.

“And as for that mead and ale, I’ve never tasted the like of them

in the king’s palace; honey and syrup are nothing to them for

sweetness.”

So when the Princess heard that, she was all for getting the tap, and was

nothing loath to strike a bargain with the owner either. So she went again to

the king, and begged him to send a messenger to the Beggars’ Isle after

the lad who had owned the scissors and cloth, for now he had another thing

worth having, she said; and when the king heard it was a tap, that was good to

give the best ale and wine any one could drink, when one gave it a turn, he

wasn’t long in sending the messenger, I should think.

So when Boots came up to the palace, the Princess asked whether it were true he

had a tap which could do such and such things? “Yes! he had such a tap in

his waistcoat pocket”, said Boots; but when the Princess wished with all

her might to buy it, Boots said, as he had said twice before, he wouldn’t

sell it, even if the Princess bade half the kingdom for it.

“But all the same”, said Boots; “if I may have leave to sleep

on the Princess’ bed to-night, outside the quilt, she shall have my tap.

I’ll not do her any harm; but, if she’s afraid, she may set eight

men to watch in her room.”

“Oh, no!” said the Princess, “there was no need of that, she

knew him now so well”; and so Boots lay outside the Princess’ bed

that night. But if she hadn’t slept much the two nights before, she had

less sleep that night; for she couldn’t shut her eyes the livelong night,

but lay and looked at Boots, who lay alongside her outside the quilt.

So, when she got up in the morning, and they were going to row Boots back to

the island, she begged them to hold hard a little bit; and in she ran to the

king, and begged him so prettily to let her have Boots for a husband, she was

so fond of him, and, unless she had him, she did not care to live.

“Well, well!” said the king, “you shall have him if you must;

for he who has such things is just as rich as you are.”

So Boots got the Princess and half the kingdom—the other half he was to

have when the king died; and so everything went smooth and well; but as for his

brothers, who had always been so bad to him, he packed them off to the

Beggars’ island.

“There”, said Boots, “perhaps they may find out which is best

off, the man who has his pockets full of money, or the man whom all women fall

in love with.”

Nor, to tell you the truth, do I think it would help them much to wander about

upon the Beggars’ island pulling pieces of money out of their pockets;

and so, if Boots hasn’t taken them off the island, there they are still

walking about to this very day, eating cheese-parings and the scrapings of the

porridge-pots.

THE THREE BILLY-GOATS GRUFF Once on a time there were three Billy-goats, who were to go up to the hill-side

to make themselves fat, and the name of all three was “Gruff”. On the way up was a bridge over a burn they had to cross; and under the bridge

lived a great ugly Troll, with eyes as big as saucers, and a nose as long as a

poker. So first of all came the youngest billy-goat Gruff to cross the bridge. “Trip, trap; trip, trap!” went the bridge. “WHO’S THAT tripping over my bridge?” roared the Troll. “Oh! it is only I, the tiniest billy-goat Gruff; and I’m going up

to the hill-side to make myself fat”, said the billy-goat, with such a

small voice. “Now, I’m coming to gobble you up”, said the Troll. “Oh, no! pray don’t take me. I’m too little, that I

am”, said the billy-goat; “wait a bit till the second billy-goat

Gruff comes, he’s much bigger.” “Well! be off with you”, said the Troll. A little while after came the second billy-goat Gruff to cross the bridge. “TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP!” went the bridge. “WHO’S THAT tripping over my bridge?” roared the Troll. “Oh! it’s the second billy-goat Gruff, and I’m going up to

the hill-side to make myself fat”, said the billy-goat, who hadn’t

such a small voice. “Now, I’m coming to gobble you up”, said the Troll. “Oh, no! don’t take me, wait a little till the big billy-goat Gruff

comes, he’s much bigger.” “Very well! be off with you”, said the Troll. But just then up came the big billy-goat Gruff. “TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP!” went the bridge, for the

billy-goat was so heavy that the bridge creaked and groaned under him. “WHO’S THAT tramping over my bridge?” roared the Troll. “IT’S I! THE BIG BILLY-GOAT GRUFF”, said the billy-goat, who

had an ugly hoarse voice of his own. “Now, I’m coming to gobble you up”, roared the Troll. Well, come along! I’ve got two spears, And I’ll poke your eyeballs out at your ears; I’ve got besides two curling-stones, And I’ll crush you to bits, body and bones. That was what the big billy-goat said; and so he flew at the Troll and poked

his eyes out with his horns, and crushed him to bits, body and bones, and

tossed him out into the burn, and after that he went up to the hill-side. There

the billy-goats got so fat they were scarce able to walk home again; and if the

fat hasn’t fallen off them, why they’re still fat; and so: Snip, snap, snout, This tale’s told out.