The Three Sillies
by Joseph Jacobs
The Three Sillies
One day, a young man visits a farm. He likes the farmer's girl. She is nice. But she is very, very silly.
The girl goes down to the cellar. She gets the juice for supper. She looks up at the ceiling. She sees a big wooden hammer. It is stuck up there.
"Oh no!" she says. "That hammer can fall! It can bonk someone!" She puts down the jug. She sits down and cries. The juice spills on the floor.
Her mother comes down. "Why do you cry?" she asks. The girl tells her about the hammer. "Oh no! You are right!" says her mother. She sits down and cries too.
Her father comes down. "Why do you both cry?" he asks. They tell him. "Oh no! That is bad!" says her father. He sits down and cries too.
The young man comes down. He sees all three crying. Juice is all over the floor. "Why do you all cry?" he asks. They tell him about the hammer. He laughs and laughs. "That is so silly!" he says.
"You are three big sillies!" he says. "I will go find three more. I will come back. I will marry your girl."
He walks and walks. He sees a woman. She pushes her cow up some steps. "The cow must eat!" she says. "The grass is on the roof!" "That is silly!" he says. "Cut the grass. Bring it down!"
He walks on. He meets a man. The man jumps and jumps. He tries to hop into his pants. "I jump and jump!" the man says. "The pants do not go on!"
The young man laughs. "Sit down," he says. "Put one leg in. Then the other." The man tries it. It works! "That is silly!" says the young man.
He walks on. He sees people by a pond. They have rakes and nets. They try to catch the moon. It is in the water.
"That is not the real moon!" he says. "Look up! It is in the sky!" They do not listen. They just shake their heads. They keep trying.
The young man laughs. "I found three sillier people!" he says. He goes back home.
He marries the farmer's girl. And they are all very happy. But still a little bit silly.
Original Story
THE THREE SILLIES Once upon a time there was a farmer and his wife who had one daughter, and she was courted by a gentleman. Every evening he used to come and see her, and stop to supper at the farmhouse, and the daughter used to be sent down into the cellar to draw the beer for supper. So one evening she had gone down to draw the beer, and she happened to look up at the ceiling while she was drawing, and she saw a mallet stuck in one of the beams. It must have been there a long, long time, but somehow or other she had never noticed it before, and she began a-thinking. And she thought it was very dangerous to have that mallet there, for she said to herself: “Suppose him and me was to be married, and we was to have a son, and he was to grow up to be a man, and come down into the cellar to draw the beer, like as I'm doing now, and the mallet was to fall on his head and kill him, what a dreadful thing it would be!” And she put down the candle and the jug, and sat herself down and began a-crying. Well, they began to wonder upstairs how it was that she was so long drawing the beer, and her mother went down to see after her, and she found her sitting on the settle crying, and the beer running over the floor. “Why, whatever is the matter?” said her mother. “Oh, mother!” says she, “look at that horrid mallet! Suppose we was to be married, and was to have a son, and he was to grow up, and was to come down to the cellar to draw the beer, and the mallet was to fall on his head and kill him, what a dreadful thing it would be!” “Dear, dear! what a dreadful thing it would be!” said the mother, and she sat her down aside of the daughter and started a-crying too. Then after a bit the father began to wonder that they didn't come back, and he went down into the cellar to look after them himself, and there they two sat a-crying, and the beer running all over the floor. “Whatever is the matter?” says he. “Why,” says the mother, “look at that horrid mallet. Just suppose, if our daughter and her sweetheart was to be married, and was to have a son, and he was to grow up, and was to come down into the cellar to draw the beer, and the mallet was to fall on his head and kill him, what a dreadful thing it would be!” “Dear, dear, dear! so it would!” said the father, and he sat himself down aside of the other two, and started a-crying. Now the gentleman got tired of stopping up in the kitchen by himself, and at last he went down into the cellar too, to see what they were after; and there they three sat a-crying side by side, and the beer running all over the floor. And he ran straight and turned the tap. Then he said: “Whatever are you three doing, sitting there crying, and letting the beer run all over the floor?” “Oh!” says the father, “look at that horrid mallet! Suppose you and our daughter was to be married, and was to have a son, and he was to grow up, and was to come down into the cellar to draw the beer, and the mallet was to fall on his head and kill him!” And then they all started a-crying worse than before. But the gentleman burst out a-laughing, and reached up and pulled out the mallet, and then he said: “I've travelled many miles, and I never met three such big sillies as you three before; and now I shall start out on my travels again, and when I can find three bigger sillies than you three, then I'll come back and marry your daughter.” So he wished them good-bye, and started off on his travels, and left them all crying because the girl had lost her sweetheart. Well, he set out, and he travelled a long way, and at last he came to a woman's cottage that had some grass growing on the roof. And the woman was trying to get her cow to go up a ladder to the grass, and the poor thing durst not go. So the gentleman asked the woman what she was doing. “Why, lookye,” she said, “look at all that beautiful grass. I'm going to get the cow on to the roof to eat it. She'll be quite safe, for I shall tie a string round her neck, and pass it down the chimney, and tie it to my wrist as I go about the house, so she can't fall off without my knowing it.” “Oh, you poor silly!” said the gentleman, “you should cut the grass and throw it down to the cow!” But the woman thought it was easier to get the cow up the ladder than to get the grass down, so she pushed her and coaxed her and got her up, and tied a string round her neck, and passed it down the chimney, and fastened it to her own wrist. And the gentleman went on his way, but he hadn't gone far when the cow tumbled off the roof, and hung by the string tied round her neck, and it strangled her. And the weight of the cow tied to her wrist pulled the woman up the chimney, and she stuck fast half-way and was smothered in the soot. Well, that was one big silly. And the gentleman went on and on, and he went to an inn to stop the night, and they were so full at the inn that they had to put him in a double-bedded room, and another traveller was to sleep in the other bed. The other man was a very pleasant fellow, and they got very friendly together; but in the morning, when they were both getting up, the gentleman was surprised to see the other hang his trousers on the knobs of the chest of drawers and run across the room and try to jump into them, and he tried over and over again, and couldn't manage it; and the gentleman wondered whatever he was doing it for. At last he stopped and wiped his face with his handkerchief. “Oh dear,” he says, “I do think trousers are the most awkwardest kind of clothes that ever were. I can't think who could have invented such things. It takes me the best part of an hour to get into mine every morning, and I get so hot! How do you manage yours?” So the gentleman burst out a-laughing, and showed him how to put them on; and he was very much obliged to him, and said he never should have thought of doing it that way. So that was another big silly. Then the gentleman went on his travels again; and he came to a village, and outside the village there was a pond, and round the pond was a crowd of people. And they had got rakes, and brooms, and pitchforks, reaching into the pond; and the gentleman asked what was the matter. “Why,” they say, “matter enough! Moon's tumbled into the pond, and we can't rake her out anyhow!” So the gentleman burst out a-laughing, and told them to look up into the sky, and that it was only the shadow in the water. But they wouldn't listen to him, and abused him shamefully, and he got away as quick as he could. So there was a whole lot of sillies bigger than them three sillies at home. So the gentleman turned back home again and married the farmer's daughter, and if they didn't live happy for ever after, that's nothing to do with you or me.
Moral of the Story
Common sense is a valuable trait, and sometimes, what seems obvious to one person is completely baffling to another.
Characters
The Gentleman ★ protagonist
None explicitly mentioned, but implied to be able-bodied and observant.
Attire: Period-appropriate gentleman's attire for traveling (e.g., coat, breeches, boots).
Observant, intelligent, amused, pragmatic.
The Daughter ◆ supporting
None explicitly mentioned.
Attire: Simple, practical peasant dress, likely made of homespun fabric.
Overly imaginative, prone to exaggerated worry, easily distressed.
The Mother ◆ supporting
None explicitly mentioned.
Attire: Simple, practical peasant dress, apron.
Easily influenced, prone to exaggerated worry, sympathetic.
The Father ◆ supporting
None explicitly mentioned.
Attire: Simple, practical farmer's attire (e.g., smock, breeches, sturdy shoes).
Easily influenced, prone to exaggerated worry, concerned.
The Woman with the Cow ○ minor
None explicitly mentioned.
Attire: Simple, practical peasant dress, possibly a head covering.
Silly, impractical, stubborn.
The Other Traveller ○ minor
None explicitly mentioned.
Attire: Period-appropriate men's nightclothes (e.g., nightshirt) and then struggling with breeches.
Friendly, pleasant, incredibly silly, easily frustrated by simple tasks.
Locations
Farmer's Cellar
A dark, underground room in a farmhouse where beer is stored and drawn. The ceiling has beams, and a mallet is stuck in one of them. Beer is running over the floor.
Mood: Initially mundane, then shifts to dramatic and absurd with the crying, finally humorous.
The daughter's initial silly fear, the family's collective crying, and the gentleman's discovery of their silliness.
Woman's Cottage with Grass Roof
A cottage with grass growing on its roof. A ladder is propped against the cottage.
Mood: Quirky, then tragic and darkly humorous.
The gentleman encounters the first 'bigger silly' trying to get her cow onto the roof.
Inn Room
A double-bedded room in an inn, containing a chest of drawers.
Mood: Initially friendly, then humorous and bewildered.
The gentleman encounters the second 'bigger silly' struggling to put on his trousers.
Village Pond
A pond located outside a village, surrounded by a crowd of people.
Mood: Confused, then highly absurd and confrontational.
The gentleman encounters a whole group of 'sillies' trying to rake the moon out of the pond.
Story DNA
Moral
Common sense is a valuable trait, and sometimes, what seems obvious to one person is completely baffling to another.
Plot Summary
A gentleman is courting a farmer's daughter, but when she, her mother, and her father all cry hysterically over the imagined future death of a non-existent son from a falling mallet, the gentleman declares them three big sillies. He vows to travel and only marry the daughter if he finds three people sillier than them. On his journey, he encounters a woman who accidentally kills herself and her cow trying to get the animal to eat grass on a roof, a man who struggles for an hour to put on his trousers, and a village full of people trying to rake the moon's reflection out of a pond. Having found many more sillies, he returns and marries the farmer's daughter.
Themes
Emotional Arc
frustration to amusement to satisfaction
Writing Style
Narrative Elements
Cultural Context
Joseph Jacobs was a prominent collector and re-teller of English fairy tales, often simplifying and standardizing them for a wider audience. This tale belongs to a common folk motif of 'numskulls' or 'wise fools' found across many cultures.
Plot Beats (14)
- A farmer's daughter goes to the cellar to draw beer and sees a mallet stuck in a beam.
- She imagines a future son being killed by the mallet and starts crying, letting the beer overflow.
- Her mother finds her, hears the absurd reason, and joins her in crying.
- Her father finds both of them, hears the reason, and joins them in crying.
- The gentleman comes down, finds them all crying over the mallet, and laughs.
- He declares them three big sillies and vows to travel until he finds three bigger sillies before marrying the daughter.
- The gentleman encounters a woman trying to lead her cow up a ladder to eat grass on the roof, tying the cow's neck to her wrist via the chimney.
- The cow falls, strangles itself, and pulls the woman up the chimney, smothering her.
- The gentleman meets a man who struggles for an hour each morning trying to jump into his trousers.
- The gentleman shows the man how to put on trousers, marking him as another silly.
- The gentleman finds a crowd of villagers trying to rake the moon's reflection out of a pond.
- He tells them it's a reflection, but they refuse to listen and abuse him.
- Realizing he has found many sillier people, the gentleman returns home.
- He marries the farmer's daughter.
