Lawkamercyme
by Unknown · from More English Fairy Tales
Adapted Version
Once upon a time, there was a Granny. She had some eggs. Granny wanted to sell her eggs. She went to the market. Granny walked a long way. She carried her eggs carefully. She walked on the road.
Granny walked and walked. She felt very tired. The sun was warm. She sat down by the road. Granny closed her eyes. Soon, she fell fast asleep. She slept on the king's highway road.
A man came down the road. He was a pedlar. The Pedlar saw Granny sleeping. He saw her long skirt. The Pedlar had big scissors. He thought of a trick. He cut her skirt. He cut it all around. Her skirt was very short now. It was a funny, naughty trick!
Granny woke up slowly. She felt a cold breeze. Brrr! She shivered a little bit. She looked down at her clothes. Her skirt was very short. It was up to her knees. Granny felt a big surprise. She felt very confused. "Oh dear!" she said.
Granny looked at her short skirt. She looked at her cold legs. "Is it me?" she asked. "This is not my skirt. So, it is not me!" Granny was puzzled. She did not know herself. "Oh dear, oh dear!" she cried. "This is not I!"
Granny had a good idea. "My dog knows me," she thought. "Her Dog will know me." She went home. Her Dog would wag his tail. Then she would know for sure. Her Dog will tell her the truth.
Granny walked all the way home. It was dark now. She opened her door. Her Dog was inside. Her Dog saw Granny. He looked at her short skirt. He did not know her. Her Dog barked loudly. "Woof! Woof! Woof!" he cried. He barked and barked at her.
Her Dog barked and barked. Granny felt very sad. "Oh dear!" she cried. "My dog does not know me!" She was confused. "It is not me!" she said. What a funny trick! Granny was still confused.
Original Story
Lawkamercyme
There was an old woman, as I've heard tell.
She went to the market her eggs for to sell;
She went to the market, all on a market-day,
And she fell asleep on the king's highway.
There came by a pedlar, whose name was Stout,
He cut her petticoats round about;
He cut her petticoats up to the knees,
Which made the old woman to shiver and freeze.
When this old woman first did wake,
She began to shiver, and she began to shake;
She began to wonder, and she began to cry—
"Lawkamercyme, this is none of I!"
"But if it be I, as I do hope it be,
I've a little dog at home, and he'll know me;
If it be I, he'll wag his little tail,
And if it be not I, he'll loudly bark and wail."
Home went the little woman, all in the dark;
Up got the little dog, and he began to bark;
He began to bark, so she began to cry—
"Lawkamercyme, this is none of I!"
Story DNA
Plot Summary
An old woman falls asleep on her way to market, and a mischievous pedlar cuts her petticoats short. Upon waking, she is so confused by her altered appearance that she believes she is no longer herself. She decides to test her identity with her dog, but when the dog barks at her, she is convinced she is a stranger and cries out in distress.
Themes
Emotional Arc
peace to confusion to distress
Writing Style
Narrative Elements
Cultural Context
This is a nursery rhyme or folk tale, likely passed down orally, reflecting simple rural life and humor.
Plot Beats (8)
- An old woman sets out to market to sell her eggs.
- She falls asleep on the king's highway.
- A pedlar named Stout passes by and cuts her petticoats short.
- The old woman wakes up, feeling cold and confused by her shortened clothes.
- She questions her identity, believing she cannot be herself.
- She decides to go home, believing her dog will recognize her if she is truly herself.
- Upon her arrival, her dog barks at her, not recognizing her.
- Convinced by the dog's reaction, she cries out again, believing she is not herself.
Characters
The Old Woman
A small, frail elderly woman, likely stooped with age, with a generally worn appearance from a life of labor. Her build is thin, suggesting a simple, perhaps meager, existence.
Attire: A simple, practical peasant dress made of coarse linen or wool, likely in muted, earthy tones like brown, grey, or faded blue. She wears a plain white or off-white petticoat underneath, which is later cut. Her shoes would be sturdy, worn leather or wooden clogs.
Wants: To sell her eggs at market for sustenance, and later, to confirm her own identity.
Flaw: Naivety, vulnerability to pranks, and a strong reliance on external validation for her sense of self.
She experiences a profound crisis of identity due to a prank, which is only partially resolved by her dog's reaction, leaving her still in distress.
Simple, trusting (as she falls asleep in public), easily confused, distressed, and reliant on familiar comforts (her dog) for self-identification.
Stout the Pedlar
A robust, perhaps burly man, as his name 'Stout' implies. He would have a sturdy build, indicative of someone who travels extensively carrying goods.
Attire: Practical, durable traveling clothes of the period, such as a sturdy wool coat or jerkin over a linen shirt, breeches, and worn leather boots. He would carry a large pack or basket of wares.
Wants: To amuse himself at another's expense, driven by a cruel sense of humor.
Flaw: His cruelty and lack of moral compass.
He serves as the catalyst for the old woman's distress but does not undergo any change himself within the story's scope.
Mischievous, cruel, opportunistic, and lacking empathy, as he plays a mean trick on a vulnerable old woman.
The Little Dog
A small, unassuming dog, likely a common breed or mix found in a peasant household, perhaps a terrier-type or a small mongrel. Its fur would be practical, possibly short-haired or wiry, in a common color like brown, black, or mottled.
Attire: None, as it is an animal.
Wants: To protect its home and owner, and to react to familiar scents/sights.
Flaw: Its inability to communicate verbally, leading to misinterpretation by its owner.
It acts as a crucial, albeit misinterpreted, identifier for the Old Woman, reinforcing her confusion rather than resolving it.
Loyal, protective, and instinctively reactive to familiar and unfamiliar presences.
Locations
King's Highway
A well-traveled, unpaved road, likely dusty or muddy depending on recent weather, bordered by open fields or low scrub, where the old woman falls asleep.
Mood: Initially peaceful and mundane, becoming mischievous and slightly unsettling.
The old woman falls asleep, and the pedlar cuts her petticoats.
Old Woman's Cottage
A small, humble English cottage interior, likely with a simple hearth, rough-hewn wooden furniture, and a straw or rush-matted floor, dimly lit as night falls.
Mood: Anxious and confusing, as the old woman seeks recognition from her dog.
The old woman returns home in the dark, and her dog barks at her, confirming her confusion.