Discreet Hans
by Unknown · from Tales of Laughter: A third fairy book
Adapted Version
Once there was a young man named Hans. He lived with his mother. Hans liked to visit Grethel.
Hans went to Grethel's house. Grethel gave Hans a needle. Hans put the needle in hay. He went home. Hans' Mother saw Hans. "Where is the needle?" she asked. "It is in the hay," Hans said. "Oh, Hans!" she said. "Put needles on your sleeve."
Hans went to Grethel's house again. Grethel gave Hans a knife. Hans put the knife on his sleeve. He went home. Hans' Mother saw Hans. "Where is the knife?" she asked. "It is on my sleeve," Hans said. "Oh, Hans!" she said. "Put knives in your pocket."
Hans went to Grethel's house. Grethel gave Hans a small goat. Hans put the goat in his pocket. The goat was very squished. He went home. Hans' Mother saw Hans. "Where is the goat?" she asked. "It is in my pocket," Hans said. "Oh, Hans!" she said. "Tie goats with a rope."
Hans went to Grethel's house. Grethel gave Hans a piece of bacon. Hans tied the bacon with a rope. He swung the rope. Dogs came and ate the bacon. He went home. Hans' Mother saw Hans. "Where is the bacon?" she asked. "Dogs ate it," Hans said. "Oh, Hans!" she said. "Carry bacon on your head."
Hans went to Grethel's house. Grethel gave Hans a small calf. Hans put the calf on his head. He walked very wobbly. He went home. Hans' Mother saw Hans. "Where is the calf?" she asked. "It was on my head," Hans said. "Oh, Hans!" she said. "Lead calves to the stall."
Hans went to Grethel's house. "I will go with you," Grethel said. Hans was happy. They went home together. Hans remembered his mother's words. He tied a rope around Grethel. He led her to the cow stall. He put Grethel inside the stall. He made the rope fast. He put some fresh hay near her.
Hans' Mother saw Hans. "Where is Grethel?" she asked. "I put her in the stall," Hans said. "Oh, Hans!" she said. "You must not do that." "Look at her with friendly eyes."
Hans went to the stall. He looked at Grethel. He made kind eyes at her.
Grethel liked Hans. Grethel became Hans' wife. They were happy.
Original Story
Discreet Hans
Hans’ mother asked: “Whither are you going, Hans?” “To Grethel’s,” replied he. “Behave well, Hans.” “I will take care; good-by, mother.” “Good-by, Hans.”
Hans came to Grethel. “Good day,” said he. “Good day,” replied Grethel, “what treasure do you bring to-day?” “I bring nothing. Have you anything to give?” Grethel presented Hans with a needle. “Good-by,” said he. “Good-by, Hans.” Hans took the needle, stuck it in a load of hay, and walked home behind the wagon.
“Good evening, mother.” “Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?” “To Grethel’s.” “And what have you given her?” “Nothing; she has given me something.” “What has Grethel given you?” “A needle,” said Hans. “And where have you put it?” “In the load of hay.” “Then you have behaved stupidly, Hans; you should put needles on your coat-sleeve.” “To behave better, do nothing at all,” thought Hans.
“Whither are you going, Hans?” “To Grethel’s, mother.” “Behave well, Hans.” “I will take care; good-by, mother.” “Good-by, Hans.”
Hans came to Grethel. “Good day,” said he. “Good day, Hans. What treasure do you bring?” “I bring nothing. Have you anything to give?” Grethel gave Hans a knife. “Good-by, Grethel.” “Good-by, Hans.” Hans took the knife, put it in his sleeve, and went home.
“Good evening, mother.” “Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?” “To Grethel’s.” “And what did you take to her?” “I took nothing; she has given to me.” “And what did she give you?” “A knife,” said Hans. “And where 91have you put it?” “In my sleeve.” “Then you have behaved foolishly again, Hans; you should put knives in your pocket.” “To behave better, do nothing at all,” thought Hans.
“Whither are you going, Hans?” “To Grethel’s, mother.” “Behave well, Hans.” “I will take care; good-by, mother.” “Good-by, Hans.”
Hans came to Grethel. “Good day, Grethel.” “Good day, Hans. What treasure do you bring?” “I bring nothing. Have you anything to give?” Grethel gave Hans a young goat. “Good-by, Grethel.” “Good-by, Hans.” Hans took the goat, tied its legs, and put it in his pocket.
Just as he reached home it was suffocated. “Good evening, mother.” “Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?” “To Grethel’s.” “And what did you take to her?” “I took nothing; she gave to me.” “And what did Grethel give you?” “A goat.” “Where did you put it, Hans?” “In my pocket.” “There you acted stupidly, Hans; you should have tied the goat with a rope.” “To behave better, do nothing,” thought Hans.
“Whither away, Hans?” “To Grethel’s, mother.” “Behave well, Hans.” “I’ll take care; good-by, mother.” “Good-by, Hans.”
Hans came to Grethel. “Good day,” said he. “Good day, Hans. What treasure do you bring?” “I bring nothing. Have you anything to give?” Grethel gave Hans a piece of bacon. “Good-by, Grethel.” “Good-by, Hans.” Hans took the bacon, tied it with a rope, and swung it to and fro so that the dogs came and ate it up. When he reached home he held the rope in his hand, but there was nothing on it.
“Good evening, mother,” said he. “Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?” “To Grethel’s, mother.” “What did you take there?” “I took nothing; she gave to me.” “And what did Grethel give you?” “A piece of bacon,” said Hans. “And where have you put it?” “I tied it with a rope, swung it about, and the dogs came and ate it up.” “There you acted stupidly, Hans; you should have carried the bacon on your head.” “To behave better, do nothing,” thought Hans.
92“Whither away, Hans?” “To Grethel’s, mother.” “Behave well, Hans.” “I’ll take care; good-by, mother.” “Good-by, Hans.”
Hans came to Grethel. “Good day,” said he. “Good day, Hans. What treasure do you bring?” “I bring nothing. Have you anything to give?” Grethel gave Hans a calf. “Good-by,” said Hans. “Good-by.” Hans took the calf, set it on his head, and the calf scratched his face.
“Good evening, mother.” “Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?” “To Grethel’s.” “What did you take her?” “I took nothing; she gave to me.” “And what did Grethel give you?” “A calf,” said Hans. “And what did you do with it?” “I set it on my head, and it kicked my face.” “Then you acted stupidly, Hans; you should have led the calf home, and put it in the stall.” “To behave better, do nothing,” thought Hans.
“Whither away, Hans?” “To Grethel’s, mother.” “Behave well, Hans.” “I’ll take care; good-by, mother.” “Good-by, Hans.”
Hans came to Grethel. “Good day,” said he. “Good day, Hans. What treasure do you bring?” “I bring nothing. Have you anything to give?” Grethel said: “I will go with you, Hans.” Hans tied a rope round Grethel, led her home, put her in the stall, and made the rope fast; and then he went to his mother.
“Good evening, mother.” “Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?” “To Grethel’s.” “What did you take her?” “I took nothing.” “What did Grethel give you?” “She gave nothing; she came with me.” “And where have you left her, then?” “I tied her with a rope, put her in the stall, and threw in some grass.” “Then you acted stupidly, Hans; you should have looked at her with friendly eyes.” “To behave better, do nothing,” thought Hans; and then he went into the stall, and made sheep’s eyes at Grethel.
And after that Grethel became Hans’ wife.
Story DNA
Moral
Sometimes, following instructions too literally can lead to absurd and undesirable outcomes, but even foolishness can accidentally lead to happiness.
Plot Summary
Hans, a simple-minded young man, repeatedly visits Grethel and receives various items. Each time, he mis-transports the item based on a literal interpretation of his mother's previous advice, leading to comedic mishaps like putting a needle in hay, a knife on his sleeve, a goat in his pocket, and bacon on a rope. Finally, when Grethel herself comes home with him, Hans, following his mother's last instruction to lead a calf to a stall, ties Grethel with a rope and puts her in the stall. His mother then tells him to look at her with friendly eyes, which Hans does, and Grethel becomes his wife.
Themes
Emotional Arc
confusion to contentment
Writing Style
Narrative Elements
Cultural Context
This story reflects a common folk tale trope of the 'simpleton' or 'fool' character whose literal interpretations of advice lead to comedic situations.
Plot Beats (15)
- Hans goes to Grethel's and receives a needle, which he puts in a load of hay.
- Hans' mother scolds him for putting the needle in the hay and tells him to put it on his sleeve.
- Hans goes to Grethel's and receives a knife, which he puts on his sleeve.
- Hans' mother scolds him for putting the knife on his sleeve and tells him to put it in his pocket.
- Hans goes to Grethel's and receives a goat, which he puts in his pocket, suffocating it.
- Hans' mother scolds him for putting the goat in his pocket and tells him to tie it with a rope.
- Hans goes to Grethel's and receives bacon, which he ties with a rope and swings, leading dogs to eat it.
- Hans' mother scolds him for swinging the bacon and tells him to carry it on his head.
- Hans goes to Grethel's and receives a calf, which he carries on his head, getting scratched.
- Hans' mother scolds him for carrying the calf on his head and tells him to lead it to the stall.
- Hans goes to Grethel's, and Grethel decides to come home with him.
- Hans, applying the last instruction literally, ties Grethel with a rope, puts her in the stall, and throws grass to her.
- Hans' mother scolds him for putting Grethel in the stall and tells him to look at her with friendly eyes.
- Hans makes 'sheep's eyes' at Grethel in the stall.
- Grethel becomes Hans' wife.
Characters
Hans
A sturdy young man of average height and build, with a somewhat naive and innocent expression. His movements are often literal interpretations of instructions, leading to awkward or clumsy actions.
Attire: Simple, practical German peasant attire: a loose-fitting, light-colored linen shirt, dark brown or grey wool breeches that reach just below the knee, sturdy leather boots, and a plain, dark-colored vest. His clothes are well-worn but clean.
Wants: To please his mother and Grethel, and to correctly follow instructions, though he often misunderstands the spirit of the advice.
Flaw: Extreme literal interpretation of instructions, lack of common sense or practical reasoning.
Hans remains largely unchanged in his literal-mindedness throughout the story, but his persistence in following instructions, however absurdly, eventually leads to him marrying Grethel. He learns to apply the final instruction of "friendly eyes" correctly, leading to his success.
Literal-minded, obedient, well-meaning, simple, easily confused.
Hans' Mother
A practical, no-nonsense woman of average height with a sturdy build, accustomed to farm life. Her movements are efficient and purposeful.
Attire: Typical German peasant woman's attire: a long, practical dark blue or grey wool skirt, a white linen blouse, a sturdy brown apron tied at the waist, and a simple, dark-colored headscarf covering her hair. Her clothes are clean and mended.
Wants: To teach Hans common sense and proper behavior, and to ensure his well-being and success in life.
Flaw: Underestimates Hans' literal-mindedness, leading to frustration.
She remains a consistent figure of guidance and instruction, never fully giving up on Hans, even as his literal interpretations continue to baffle her.
Practical, instructive, exasperated (with Hans), loving, traditional.
Grethel
A pleasant and unassuming young woman, likely of similar social standing to Hans. Her demeanor is gentle and patient.
Attire: Simple, clean German peasant dress: a long, light blue linen dress with a modest neckline, a white apron tied over it, and perhaps a small, embroidered bodice or vest. Her clothing is practical but well-kept.
Wants: To engage with Hans, perhaps to find a suitable partner, and to be kind.
Flaw: Her patience might be seen as a weakness by some, as she tolerates Hans' peculiar behavior for a long time.
Grethel initially gives Hans gifts, then eventually offers herself to accompany him home. Her arc culminates in her acceptance of Hans as her husband, suggesting she sees beyond his literal-mindedness to his good intentions.
Patient, kind, generous (in giving gifts), observant, perhaps a little amused by Hans' antics.
Locations
Hans' Mother's Cottage
A simple, cozy German-style cottage, likely a half-timbered Fachwerk house with a thatched or tiled roof, where Hans lives with his mother. The interior would be humble, with a stone hearth and basic wooden furniture.
Mood: Warm, domestic, slightly exasperated due to Hans's antics, but ultimately loving.
Hans departs for Grethel's and returns, recounting his latest misadventures and receiving advice from his mother.
Grethel's House
Another simple German cottage, similar in style to Hans's, where Grethel resides. It is a place of regular visits and exchanges between Hans and Grethel.
Mood: Friendly, welcoming, a bit bemused by Hans's consistent lack of common sense.
Hans visits Grethel, receives various items from her, and eventually leads her home.
The Farmyard/Path to Home
The open area around Hans's home, including a path leading to it, where various objects are transported or lost. It features elements like a hay wagon, open ground for dogs, and a calf stall.
Mood: Rural, open, sometimes chaotic due to Hans's actions, but generally peaceful.
Hans transports items home, often losing or mishandling them along the way, culminating in him bringing Grethel home and putting her in the calf stall.