The Wee, Wee Mannie
by Unknown · from Tales of Laughter: A third fairy book
Adapted Version
Once there was a wee, wee Little Boy. He had a big, big Cow. The Little Boy wanted to milk his cow. The Big Cow would not stand still! "Stand still, my cow!" he said. The Big Cow moved. She did not stand still. The Little Boy was sad.
The Little Boy went to Mom. "Mom," he said. "Cow won't stand." Mom said, "Get stick. Tap the cow with the stick. Make her move."
The Little Boy went to a tree. He wanted a stick. He pulled the stick. The stick did not break. It was too strong.
The Little Boy went to Mom again. "Mom," he said. "Stick is too strong." Mom said, "Go to Butcher." Ask him to take the Big Cow away."
The Little Boy went to The Butcher. "Take the cow away?" he asked. Butcher said no money. Boy went to Mom.
Mom had a new idea. "Tell the Big Cow this," she said. "A Sad Lady needs milk. Boy told Big Cow: 'She is tired.'" She did not move.
Mom said, "Tell the Big Cow more. A Strong Man sits with the Sad Lady. He is very strong." Boy told Big Cow. The Big Cow did not move.
Mom said, "Tell the Big Cow more. The Strong Man has a shiny sword. It is at his belt." Boy told Big Cow. The Big Cow did not move.
Mom said, "Tell the Big Cow this. The Strong Man has his shiny sword. He means she must be good. She must stand very, very still. She must give milk now."
The Little Boy went to the Big Cow. He told her everything. "The Sad Lady needs milk," he said. "The Strong Man has a shiny sword. You must be good now."
The Big Cow saw the Sad Lady. She saw the Strong Man. She saw his shiny sword. The sword had a little shine. The Big Cow thought, "Oh! I must be good!" She stood very still.
The Little Boy was very happy. He sat down to milk. He milked the Big Cow. The milk filled his bucket.
The Sad Lady got her milk. She was not sad anymore. The Strong Man put his shiny sword away. The Little Boy was happy. The Big Cow was good. All was well.
Original Story
The Wee, Wee Mannie
Once upon a time, when all big folks were wee ones and all lies were true, there was a wee, wee Mannie that had a big, big coo. And out he went to milk her of a morning, and said:
“Hold still, my coo, my hinny,
Hold still, my hinny, my coo,
And ye shall have for your dinner
What but a milk white doo.”
But the big, big coo wouldn’t hold still. “Hout!” said the wee, wee Mannie:
“Hold still, my coo, my dearie,
And fill my bucket wi’ milk,
And if ye’ll be no contrairy
I’ll gi’e ye a gown o’ silk.”
But the big, big coo wouldn’t hold still. “Look at that, now!” said the wee, wee Mannie:
“What’s a wee, wee Mannie to do,
Wi’ such a big contrairy coo?”
So off he went to his mother at the house. “Mither,” said he, “coo won’t stand still, and wee, wee Mannie can’t milk big, big coo.”
“Hout!” said his mother, “take stick and beat coo.”
So off he went to get a stick from the tree, and said:
“Break, stick, break,
And I’ll gi’e ye a cake.”
201But the stick wouldn’t break, so back he went to the house.
“Mither,” said he, “coo won’t hold still, stick won’t break, wee, wee Mannie can’t beat big, big coo.”
“Hout!” said his mother, “go to the butcher and bid him kill coo.”
So off he went to the butcher, and said:
“Butcher, kill the big, big coo,
She’ll gi’e us no more milk noo.”
But the butcher wouldn’t kill the coo without a silver penny, so back the Mannie went to the house. “Mither,” said he, “coo won’t hold still, stick won’t break, butcher won’t kill without a silver penny, and wee, wee Mannie can’t milk big, big coo.”
“Well,” said his mother, “go to the coo and tell her there’s a weary, weary lady with long yellow hair weeping for a cup o’ milk.”
So off he went and told the coo, but she wouldn’t hold still, so back he went and told his mother.
“Well,” said she, “tell the coo there’s a fine, fine laddie from the wars sitting by the weary, weary lady with golden hair, and she weeping for a sup o’ milk.”
So off he went and told the coo, but she wouldn’t hold still, so back he went and told his mother.
“Well,” said his mother, “tell the big, big coo there’s a sharp, sharp sword at the belt of the fine, fine laddie from the wars who sits beside the weary, weary lady with the golden hair, and she weeping for a sup o’ milk.”
And he told the big, big coo, but she wouldn’t hold still.
Then said his mother: “Run quick and tell her that her head’s going to be cut off by the sharp, sharp sword in the hands of the fine, fine laddie, if she doesn’t give the sup o’ milk the weary, weary lady weeps for.”
And wee, wee Mannie went off and told the big, big coo.
And when coo saw the glint of the sharp, sharp sword in the hand of the fine, fine laddie come from the wars, and the 202weary, weary lady weeping for a sup o’ milk, she reckoned she’d better hold still; so wee, wee Mannie milked big, big coo, and the weary, weary lady with the golden hair hushed her weeping and got her sup o’ milk, and the fine, fine laddie new come from the wars put by his sharp, sharp sword, and all went well that didn’t go ill.
Story DNA
Plot Summary
A wee, wee Mannie struggles to milk his big, big coo, who refuses to hold still. After his initial pleas fail, he consults his mother, who suggests a series of escalating solutions: beating the coo with a stick (which won't break), then having a butcher kill her (who demands payment). Finally, his mother devises a cumulative threat involving a weary, weeping lady, a fine soldier, and a sharp sword. When the coo sees the glint of the sword and the weeping lady, she finally complies, allowing the Mannie to milk her and resolve the situation.
Themes
Emotional Arc
frustration to relief
Writing Style
Narrative Elements
Cultural Context
This tale reflects a common folk narrative structure, often used for entertainment and to teach children about cumulative events and consequences, rather than a specific historical event.
Plot Beats (13)
- A wee, wee Mannie attempts to milk his big, big coo, but she refuses to hold still despite his pleas.
- The Mannie asks his mother for advice, and she tells him to beat the coo with a stick.
- The Mannie goes to a tree to get a stick, but the stick won't break.
- He returns to his mother, who then tells him to ask the butcher to kill the coo.
- The butcher refuses to kill the coo without a silver penny, so the Mannie returns to his mother again.
- His mother suggests telling the coo about a weary, weeping lady who needs milk, but the coo still won't hold still.
- The mother then adds a fine laddie from the wars sitting by the lady, but the coo remains uncooperative.
- The mother further adds a sharp sword at the laddie's belt, but the coo still won't hold still.
- Finally, the mother instructs the Mannie to tell the coo that her head will be cut off by the sword if she doesn't give milk.
- The Mannie relays the full threat to the coo.
- Upon seeing the glint of the sword and the weeping lady, the coo finally decides to hold still.
- The wee, wee Mannie successfully milks the big, big coo.
- The weary lady receives her milk, the soldier puts away his sword, and the problem is resolved.
Characters
The Wee, Wee Mannie
A very small boy, perhaps no taller than a young child, with a slight build. His small stature is his defining physical characteristic, making him seem vulnerable against larger elements of the world.
Attire: Simple, practical clothing suitable for a rural Scottish setting. He would wear a homespun linen shirt, perhaps a waistcoat of coarse wool, and sturdy breeches or trousers of a muted color like grey or brown. His feet would be clad in thick wool socks and simple leather brogues or even bare feet, indicating his humble background.
Wants: To milk his cow and fulfill his daily chores, and later, to solve the problem of the uncooperative cow.
Flaw: His small size and initial lack of authority or physical strength, leading him to seek help from others.
He learns that indirect persuasion and the threat of consequences can be more effective than direct commands or physical force, even for a 'wee, wee Mannie'.
Persistent, easily frustrated, obedient, resourceful (eventually), earnest.
The Big, Big Coo
An exceptionally large dairy cow, significantly bigger than average, with a robust and sturdy build. Her hide is a traditional black and white Holstein pattern, but with a dominant white coat and large black patches. Her udders are full, indicating she is ready for milking.
Attire: Her natural hide of black and white. Later, she is offered a 'gown o' silk' but never wears it.
Wants: To avoid being milked, perhaps out of simple bovine stubbornness or discomfort, until a significant threat emerges.
Flaw: Fear of physical harm, specifically the sharp sword.
Changes from being stubbornly uncooperative to perfectly still due to fear, allowing the Mannie to milk her.
Stubborn, uncooperative, easily swayed by fear (ultimately), somewhat indifferent to pleas.
The Mither
A sturdy, practical woman of middle age, with a no-nonsense demeanor. Her build would reflect a life of hard work in a rural setting, perhaps a bit stout but strong.
Attire: Traditional Scottish peasant clothing: a long, dark wool skirt, a plain linen blouse, and a practical apron over it. Her clothing would be well-worn but clean, reflecting her diligent nature. Perhaps a simple shawl draped over her shoulders.
Wants: To ensure the cow is milked and her son learns how to solve problems, even if indirectly.
Flaw: None explicitly shown, she seems to be a fount of wisdom.
Remains consistent as the wise problem-solver, guiding her son to the solution.
Practical, wise, resourceful, firm, no-nonsense.
The Butcher
A robust and burly man, with strong arms and a broad chest, indicative of his profession. He might have a ruddy complexion from his work.
Attire: A practical, blood-stained leather apron over a simple, sturdy tunic or shirt. His sleeves would likely be rolled up, revealing muscular forearms. He might wear heavy boots.
Wants: To earn money for his services.
Flaw: His demand for payment makes him unhelpful without it.
Remains unchanged, serving as an obstacle due to his transactional nature.
Transactional, practical, firm, unwilling to work without payment.
The Weary, Weary Lady with Long Yellow Hair
A delicate and frail young woman, appearing exhausted and distressed. Her posture would be slumped from weariness and sorrow.
Attire: Simple, perhaps slightly disheveled, but still suggesting a gentlewoman's attire, such as a pale blue or grey gown of fine linen or wool, possibly with a modest neckline. It would not be opulent, but rather practical for travel or distress.
Wants: To receive a cup of milk to alleviate her weariness or distress.
Flaw: Her extreme weariness and vulnerability.
Her weeping ceases once she receives the milk, showing relief.
Distressed, sorrowful, passive, vulnerable.
The Fine, Fine Laddie from the Wars
A strong and capable young man, with a lean, athletic build, suggesting military training. He would carry himself with an air of quiet confidence.
Attire: Practical but well-made clothing, indicative of a soldier returning from war. This might include a sturdy wool tunic or doublet in a muted color like forest green or dark blue, practical breeches, and worn but strong leather boots. A leather belt would be prominent.
Wants: To protect or assist the weary lady, and to be ready to act if needed.
Flaw: None explicitly shown; he is presented as a figure of strength and readiness.
Remains consistent as a figure of potential threat or protection, putting his sword away once the problem is resolved.
Watchful, protective (implied), capable, ready for action.
Locations
Farmyard by the Coo
A simple, open farmyard, likely muddy or grassy, where a single large cow is kept. The ground might be uneven, with patches of grass and possibly some burdock leaves or other common weeds. The air is fresh and cool, typical of a morning in the Scottish countryside.
Mood: Initially frustrating and stubborn, later tense and finally relieved.
The wee, wee Mannie's repeated attempts to milk the stubborn cow, and the eventual success after the cow is threatened.
Mannie's Croft Cottage
A small, humble Scottish croft cottage, likely built of rough-hewn stone with a thatched roof. Inside, it would be simple and functional, with a stone hearth for warmth and cooking. The air would carry the scent of peat smoke and home cooking. The interior is dimly lit by small windows.
Mood: Warm, domestic, and slightly exasperated due to the Mannie's repeated complaints.
The Mannie's repeated consultations with his mother for advice on how to deal with the stubborn cow.
Nearby Woods/Tree Line
A small cluster of trees, likely native Scottish species like birch or Scots pine, on the edge of the farm property. The ground beneath would be covered in fallen leaves or pine needles, and the air would be cool and still. The light filters through the branches.
Mood: Quiet, natural, and unyielding, as the stick refuses to break.
The Mannie's unsuccessful attempt to break a stick from a tree to beat the cow.