How Rudeness and Kindness
by Guy Wetmore Carryl · from Grimm Tales Made Gay
Adapted Version
Two girls lived by a big river.
The Kind Girl had a sweet smile. She was always happy. She liked to help people. She made nice gifts for friends. She sang pretty songs. Everyone loved the Kind Girl.
The Rude Girl was not happy. She did not like people. She said mean words. She did not smile. She was always angry.
The Kind Girl walked in a forest. She saw an old woman. The old woman was very tired. Her hands shook. "Please help me?" the old woman said.
The Kind Girl smiled. "Yes! I can help you. She gave her money."
The old woman looked at her. Then she changed! She was not old. She was a fairy! "You are very kind," the fairy said. "When you talk, pearls and rubies will fall."
The Kind Girl went home. She talked to her family. Beautiful pearls fell from her lips! Red rubies fell too! The fairy was right. The Kind Girl was so happy.
Next day, Rude Girl walked same road. She saw the old woman. "Please help me?" the old woman said.
"Go away!" the Rude Girl said. "I do not want to help you."
The old woman changed into the fairy. The fairy was not happy. "You are very rude," she said. "When you talk, a toad will hop." The Rude Girl was scared.
The Kind Girl lived a happy life. Pearls and rubies made her rich. She met a kind man. They got married. He loved to hear her talk. They were very happy.
The Rude Girl was very sad. Every time she talked, toads came out. No one wanted to be near her. She was alone and not happy. She was sorry she was rude. But it was too late.
So, the Kind Girl was happy. The Rude Girl was not happy. It is always best to be kind.
Original Story
How Rudeness and Kindness
Were Justly Rewarded
Once on a time, long years ago
(Just when I quite forget),
Two maidens lived beside the Po,
One blonde and one brunette.
The blonde one’s character was mild,
From morning until night she smiled,
Whereas the one whose hair was brown
Did little else than pine and frown.
(I think one ought to draw the line
At girls who always frown and pine!)
The blonde one learned to play the harp,
Like all accomplished dames,
And trained her voice to take C sharp
As well as Emma Eames;
Made baskets out of scented grass,
And paper-weights of hammered brass,
And lots of other odds and ends
For gentleman and lady friends.
(I think it takes a deal of sense
To manufacture gifts for gents!)
The dark one wore an air of gloom,
Proclaimed the world a bore,
And took her breakfast in her room
Three mornings out of four.
With crankiness she seemed imbued,
And everything she said was rude:
She sniffed, and sneered, and, what is more,
When very much provoked, she swore!
(I think that I could never care
For any girl who’d learned to swear!)
One day the blonde was striding past
A forest, all alone,
When all at once her eyes she cast
Upon a wrinkled crone,
Who tottered near with shaking knees,
And said: “A penny, if you please!”
And you will learn with some surprise
This was a fairy in disguise!
(I think it must be hard to know
A fairy who’s incognito!)
The maiden filled her trembling palms
With coinage of the realm.
The fairy said: “Take back your alms!
My heart they overwhelm.
Henceforth at every word shall slip
A pearl or ruby from your lip!”
And, when the girl got home that night,—
She found the fairy’s words were right!
(I think there are not many girls
Whose words are worth their weight in pearls!)
It happened that the cross brunette,
Ten minutes later, came
Along the self-same road, and met
That bent and wrinkled dame,
Who asked her humbly for a sou.
The girl replied: “Get out with you!”
The fairy cried: “Each word you drop,
A toad from out your mouth shall hop!”
(I think that nothing incommodes
One’s speech like uninvited toads!)
And so it was, the cheerful blonde
Lived on in joy and bliss,
And grew pecunious, beyond
The dreams of avarice!
And to a nice young man was wed,
And I have often heard it said
No other man who ever walked
Most loved his wife when most she talked!
(I think this very fact, forsooth,
Goes far to prove I tell the truth!)
The cross brunette the fairy’s joke
By hook or crook survived,
But still at every word she spoke
An ugly toad arrived,
Until at last she had to come
To feigning she was wholly dumb,
Whereat the suitors swarmed around,
And soon a wealthy mate she found.
(I think nobody ever knew
The happier husband of the two!)
The Moral of the tale is: Bah!
Nous avons changé tout celà.
No clear idea I hope to strike
Of what your nicest girl is like,
But she whose best young man I am
Is not an oyster, nor a clam!
This shows why each suitor, who rode up to spark,
Would mark the toad maybe, but ne’er toed the mark.
Story DNA
Moral
Kindness is rewarded, and rudeness is punished, though the story playfully subverts this with a cynical twist.
Plot Summary
Two sisters, one kind and the other rude, live by the Po river. The kind sister encounters a disguised fairy, to whom she shows generosity, and is rewarded with pearls and rubies falling from her lips when she speaks. The rude sister later encounters the same fairy, treats her with disdain, and is cursed to have toads hop from her mouth with every word. The kind sister marries happily and becomes wealthy, while the rude sister feigns dumbness to secure a wealthy husband, leading the narrator to ironically question which outcome is truly happier.
Themes
Emotional Arc
contrast of joy and misery leading to unexpected outcomes
Writing Style
Narrative Elements
Cultural Context
Guy Wetmore Carryl was known for his humorous and often cynical parodies of classic fairy tales, often with unexpected or ironic morals.
Plot Beats (12)
- Two maidens, one blonde and kind, the other brunette and rude, live by the Po river.
- The blonde maiden is described as mild-mannered, accomplished, and generous, making gifts for friends.
- The brunette maiden is described as gloomy, cranky, rude, and prone to swearing.
- The blonde maiden encounters a tottering old crone in a forest who asks for a penny.
- The blonde maiden generously fills the crone's hands with coins.
- The crone reveals herself as a fairy and blesses the blonde maiden: a pearl or ruby will fall from her lips with every word.
- The blonde maiden returns home to find the fairy's words true, becoming wealthy and beloved.
- The brunette maiden encounters the same crone, who asks for a sou.
- The brunette maiden rudely tells the crone to 'Get out with you!'
- The fairy curses the brunette maiden: a toad will hop from her mouth with every word.
- The blonde maiden lives in joy and bliss, marries a man who loves her talkativeness, and becomes incredibly rich.
- The brunette maiden, plagued by toads, pretends to be dumb to attract suitors and eventually finds a wealthy mate, leading the narrator to question who is truly happier.
Characters
The Blonde Maiden ★ protagonist
Of average height and slender build, with a gentle demeanor. Her movements are graceful and light.
Attire: Likely wears well-maintained, modest but elegant dresses made of fine linen or cotton, in soft, cheerful colors. Her attire would be practical for daily activities like playing the harp or making crafts, yet still refined.
Wants: To live a pleasant, fulfilling life, engage in hobbies, and be agreeable to others.
Flaw: Not explicitly stated, but perhaps a tendency to be overly accommodating or naive, as she readily gives money to a stranger.
Her kindness is rewarded with a magical gift, leading to a life of wealth and happiness, culminating in a loving marriage.
Mild-mannered, cheerful, kind, accomplished, industrious.
Image Prompt & Upload
A young woman standing upright, facing forward, full body visible from head to toe. She has long, wavy blonde hair, a gentle smile, and fair skin. Her eyes are light blue and kind. She wears a modest but elegant light blue linen dress with a fitted bodice and a flowing skirt, adorned with delicate white lace trim at the collar and cuffs. As she speaks, small, lustrous white pearls and deep red rubies are visibly falling from her lips. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
The Brunette Maiden ⚔ antagonist
Of average height and build, with a perpetually gloomy expression. Her movements are likely stiff or resentful.
Attire: Likely wears darker, perhaps less cheerful clothing, possibly of good quality but chosen for its somberness rather than style. Her attire might be less cared for, reflecting her general disinterest.
Wants: To express her dissatisfaction with the world, to be left alone, and to avoid things she finds boring.
Flaw: Her extreme rudeness and negative outlook, which lead to her magical curse.
Her rudeness is cursed with a magical consequence, forcing her to adapt by feigning dumbness, which paradoxically leads to her finding a wealthy husband.
Gloomy, cranky, rude, cynical, prone to complaining and swearing.
Image Prompt & Upload
A young woman standing upright, facing forward, full body visible from head to toe. She has long, dark brown hair, a perpetual frown, and pale skin. Her eyes are dark and narrow. She wears a dark green velvet dress with a high collar and long sleeves, unadorned and somewhat severe in style. As she speaks, small, warty brown toads are visibly hopping from her open mouth. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
The Fairy (as Wrinkled Crone) ◆ supporting
Appears as a very old woman, wrinkled and frail, with shaking knees. Her posture is bent, suggesting great age and infirmity.
Attire: Simple, worn, and humble clothing befitting a beggar, likely a dark, coarse woolen shawl and a plain, faded dress, possibly patched.
Wants: To test the character of the maidens and reward kindness while punishing rudeness.
Flaw: None explicitly stated; as a fairy, she possesses significant power.
Remains consistent in her role as a dispenser of justice, revealing the true nature of the maidens through her magical interventions.
Observant, wise, just, disguised to test character.
Image Prompt & Upload
An elderly woman standing upright, facing forward, full body visible from head to toe. She has a deeply wrinkled face, kind but knowing dark eyes, and sparse white hair pulled back in a simple bun. Her posture is slightly hunched, and she leans on a gnarled wooden walking stick. She wears a faded, patched brown woolen shawl over a simple, dark grey linen dress. Her hands are gnarled and trembling. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
Locations
Beside the Po River
A rural setting along the banks of the Po River in Italy, where two maidens lived. The environment is likely fertile and green, typical of a river valley.
Mood: Pastoral, domestic, setting for everyday life.
The general setting for the maidens' lives before their encounters.
Image Prompt & Upload
A wide, calm Po River flows gently, its banks lined with lush green reeds and willow trees. In the distance, rolling hills with scattered Italian farmhouses rise under a soft, clear sky. The light is even and natural, suggesting a peaceful, fertile landscape. no border, no frame, no watermark, no text, no signature, edge-to-edge illustration.
Forest Path
A path winding through a forest, where the blonde maiden first encounters the disguised fairy. Later, the brunette maiden walks the same path.
Mood: Initially ordinary, then becomes magical and fateful.
Both maidens encounter the fairy in disguise, leading to their respective magical rewards/curses.
Image Prompt & Upload
A narrow, winding dirt path meanders through a dense Italian forest, dappled sunlight filtering through the canopy of oak and chestnut trees. The forest floor is covered in fallen leaves and patches of moss, with ferns growing along the path's edge. The air is still and verdant, with a sense of quiet anticipation. no border, no frame, no watermark, no text, no signature, edge-to-edge illustration.
Blonde Maiden's Home
The home of the blonde maiden, where she returns after her encounter with the fairy and discovers the magical pearls and rubies falling from her lips.
Mood: Joyful, prosperous, domestic.
The blonde maiden confirms the fairy's blessing and begins her life of prosperity.
Image Prompt & Upload
The cozy interior of a simple, well-kept Italian cottage, with rough-hewn timber beams supporting a low ceiling and whitewashed plaster walls. A small, glowing hearth casts warm light across a wooden table and a few sturdy chairs. Moonlight streams softly through a small window, illuminating dust motes in the air. no border, no frame, no watermark, no text, no signature, edge-to-edge illustration.
