Physicians Two
by Ambrose Bierce · from Fantastic Fables
Adapted Version
Once there was a clever old man. He felt a little sick one day. He called for Doctor Green. Doctor Green came to his house. Doctor Green looked at him. Doctor Green gave him some pills. The man took the pills.
The clever old man called Doctor Blue. Doctor Blue did not know Doctor Green. Doctor Blue came to the house. Doctor Blue looked at the man. Doctor Blue gave him other pills. The man took these pills too.
Each day, a doctor came. Doctor Green came one day. Doctor Blue came the next day. They did not know about each other. Both doctors gave pills. It was other pills each time. This happened for many days. The man stayed in his bed. He watched the doctors.
One morning, Doctor Green came. He walked into the room. Oh! Doctor Blue was also there! Doctor Blue stood by the bed. The clever old man slept in his bed. The doctors looked at each other. They were very surprised.
The doctors saw their other pills. They saw the other bottles. They knew the truth then. They started a loud fight. They shouted at each other. Their voices were very loud. They were very angry.
The loud noise woke the clever old man. He opened his eyes. He saw the doctors fighting. He knew why they fought. He smiled a little. He spoke to them. His voice was calm.
The clever old man said, "I feel good now." He felt good for many days. He took no pills. He just rested in bed. He wanted to get strong. He did not need their pills.
He told them, "I dealt with you both." He said, "You two deal with each other!" The doctors were very quiet. They looked at the floor. They thought about his words. They learned a lesson. It is good to think for yourself! Sometimes, your ideas are best.
Original Story
Physicians Two
A Wicked Old Man finding himself ill sent for a Physician, who prescribed for him and went away. Then the Wicked Old Man sent for another Physician, saying nothing of the first, and an entirely different treatment was ordered. This continued for some weeks, the physicians visiting him on alternate days and treating him for two different disorders, with constantly enlarging doses of medicine and more and more rigorous nursing. But one day they accidently met at his bedside while he slept, and the truth coming out a violent quarrel ensued.
“My good friends,” said the patient, awakened by the noise of the dispute, and apprehending the cause of it, “pray be more reasonable. If I could for weeks endure you both, can you not for a little while endure each other? I have been well for ten days, but have remained in bed in the hope of gaining by repose the strength that would justify me in taking your medicines. So far I have touched none of it.”
Story DNA
Moral
One's own common sense and caution can be more effective than blindly following conflicting expert advice.
Plot Summary
A Wicked Old Man, feigning illness, secretly employs two different physicians who prescribe conflicting treatments. This continues for weeks until the doctors accidentally meet at his bedside and quarrel. The patient awakens to reveal he has been well for ten days and has taken none of their medicine, shaming the squabbling professionals with his superior common sense.
Themes
Emotional Arc
tension to resolution
Writing Style
Narrative Elements
Cultural Context
Ambrose Bierce was known for his cynical and often dark humor, frequently satirizing human folly and societal norms.
Plot Beats (8)
- A Wicked Old Man, feeling ill, calls for a physician who prescribes treatment.
- The man then calls for a second physician, concealing the first, who prescribes a different treatment.
- This pattern continues for weeks, with the physicians visiting on alternate days, prescribing increasingly strong and conflicting medicines.
- One day, the two physicians accidentally meet at the man's bedside while he sleeps.
- Upon discovering the deception, the physicians engage in a violent quarrel.
- The patient awakens, understands the cause of the dispute, and calmly addresses the doctors.
- The man reveals he has been well for ten days and has not taken any of their medicines, merely resting to gain strength.
- He points out the irony that if he could endure both of them, they should be able to endure each other.
Characters
The Wicked Old Man ★ protagonist
A frail, thin man of advanced age, likely with a slight stoop from prolonged illness and age. His build would be gaunt, suggesting a long period of feigned illness and lack of robust activity. His skin would be pale and somewhat translucent, typical of an elderly person who has spent much time indoors.
Attire: Simple, comfortable nightclothes suitable for an invalid of the late 19th century, likely a plain white or cream cotton nightshirt, possibly with a matching cap to keep his head warm. The fabric would be soft from wear, not luxurious.
Wants: To avoid taking medicine he believes is unnecessary or harmful, and possibly to amuse himself by outwitting others.
Flaw: His advanced age and actual physical frailty, which he uses to his advantage but is still a reality.
He remains unchanged in his cunning, but his revelation brings the story to its climax, confirming his cleverness.
Cunning, manipulative, intelligent, patient, and somewhat mischievous. He enjoys orchestrating situations and observing the outcome, even at his own expense.
Image Prompt & Upload
An elderly man with a gaunt, pale face, deep wrinkles around his eyes, and a sparse white beard. His eyes are intelligent and hold a hint of mischief. He has thin, wispy white hair. He is propped up in a simple bed, wearing a plain cream cotton nightshirt. He holds his hands clasped in front of him, a slight, knowing smile on his lips. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
First Physician ◆ supporting
A man of average height and build, likely appearing respectable and professional. His posture would be upright and confident, reflecting his perceived authority in his profession. He might be slightly portly, indicative of a comfortable life.
Attire: Formal, dark-colored suit typical of a physician in the late 19th century, likely made of wool. This would include a dark frock coat, waistcoat, trousers, a crisp white shirt, and a dark tie. He would carry a doctor's bag.
Wants: To treat his patient's perceived illness and maintain his professional reputation.
Flaw: Overconfidence in his own diagnosis and a lack of perception regarding his patient's true nature.
He is initially confident but ends the story in a state of shock and anger, realizing he has been duped.
Professional, confident, somewhat dogmatic, easily deceived, and prone to anger when challenged.
Image Prompt & Upload
A male physician standing upright, facing forward, full body visible from head to toe. He has a serious expression, a neatly trimmed dark mustache, and dark, neatly combed hair. He wears a dark grey wool frock coat, a matching waistcoat, dark trousers, a crisp white shirt, and a dark silk tie. He holds a black leather doctor's bag in his left hand. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
Second Physician ◆ supporting
Similar to the First Physician, likely of average height and build, presenting a respectable and professional appearance. Perhaps slightly leaner or more robust than the first, to subtly differentiate them. His posture would also be confident and upright.
Attire: Formal, dark-colored suit, similar to the first physician but perhaps with a slightly different shade or cut to distinguish him. A dark wool frock coat, waistcoat, trousers, crisp white shirt, and a dark tie. He would also carry a doctor's bag.
Wants: To treat his patient's perceived illness and maintain his professional reputation.
Flaw: Overconfidence in his own diagnosis and a lack of perception regarding his patient's true nature.
He is initially confident but ends the story in a state of shock and anger, realizing he has been duped.
Professional, confident, somewhat dogmatic, easily deceived, and prone to anger when challenged.
Image Prompt & Upload
A male physician standing upright, facing forward, full body visible from head to toe. He has a serious expression, clean-shaven face, and dark, neatly combed hair. He wears a dark navy blue wool frock coat, a matching waistcoat, dark trousers, a crisp white shirt, and a dark silk tie. He holds a brown leather doctor's bag in his right hand. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
Locations
The Wicked Old Man's Bedroom
A private bedroom within a wealthy, possibly European, home, where the old man is confined to his bed. The room likely reflects a certain level of comfort and age, possibly with heavy drapes and traditional furniture.
Mood: Initially somber and sickly, transitioning to tense and confrontational, then revealing a humorous, ironic undertone.
The old man receives treatments from two different physicians, and later, the physicians accidentally meet and quarrel at his bedside, leading to the old man's revelation.
Image Prompt & Upload
A dimly lit, opulent 19th-century European bedroom. A large, four-poster bed with heavy velvet drapes dominates the center, where an elderly man is feigning sleep under a thick quilt. Two physicians, dressed in dark, formal period attire, stand on either side of the bed, their faces contorted in a silent, tense argument, illuminated by a soft, diffused light from a tall window. Ornate wooden furniture and a patterned rug complete the room. no border, no frame, no watermark, no text, no signature, edge-to-edge illustration.
