Revenge
by Ambrose Bierce
The Funny Salesman
Knock, knock, knock! A man stands at the door. He has a big smile. He has a big, blue umbrella. This is The Silly Salesman. Farmer Fox opens his door. The Salesman waves his big umbrella. "Hello, hello!" he says. "I have a special umbrella for you. It is a very good umbrella. It keeps you dry. So very dry!" Farmer Fox sees the umbrella. He looks at the Salesman.
"Oh, the rain!" Salesman waves his arms. "Rain can fall so hard! Splash, splash! Drip, drip, drop! Everything gets wet. Your hat gets wet. Your shoes get wet. Your nose gets wet! Your barn gets wet! Your chickens get wet! But this umbrella! It is magic! It keeps you super dry. So very dry! No wet at all. Not one drop!" Farmer Fox listens. He looks at the sky. He looks at the Salesman.
Farmer Fox looks at The Silly Salesman. He points a finger. "Hmm," Farmer Fox says. "You say this umbrella is good. You say it keeps you dry. Very dry. But look at you! Your hat is wet. Your coat is wet. Your shoes are wet. Your nose is wet! Your big smile is wet! You are all wet! Why are you wet?" Salesman stops talking. He looks down.
The Silly Salesman looks at his wet hat. He looks at his wet coat. Drip, drip, drip. Water runs down his face. He sees his wet shoes. His mouth opens. Then it closes. Like a little fish. He says nothing. He just stands there. He is very, very wet.
The Silly Salesman looks around. He leans very close to Farmer Fox. He puts his hand by his mouth. He makes a little cup. He whispers in Farmer Fox's ear. "Psst! Psst!" he says. Farmer Fox bends down. He wants to hear. What is the big secret?
The Silly Salesman whispers a secret. "I do not like umbrellas!" he says. "I love the rain! I love the splash, splash, splash! I love jumping in puddles! I sell umbrellas to walk in rain. All day long!" Farmer Fox laughs. He laughs a big laugh. The Salesman laughs too. They run outside. They jump in puddles. Splash! Splash! The umbrella sits on the ground. It gets wet too.
Original Story
Revenge
An Insurance Agent was trying to induce a Hard Man to Deal With to take out a policy on his house. After listening to him for an hour, while he painted in vivid colours the extreme danger of fire consuming the house, the Hard Man to Deal With said:
“Do you really think it likely that my house will burn down inside the time that policy will run?”
“Certainly,” replied the Insurance Agent; “have I not been trying all this time to convince you that I do?”
“Then,” said the Hard Man to Deal With, “why are you so anxious to have your Company bet me money that it will not?”
The Agent was silent and thoughtful for a moment; then he drew the other apart into an unfrequented place and whispered in his ear:
“My friend, I will impart to you a dark secret. Years ago the Company betrayed my sweetheart by promise of marriage. Under an assumed name I have wormed myself into its service for revenge; and as there is a heaven above us, I will have its heart’s blood!”
Moral of the Story
Even seemingly straightforward transactions can hide deeper, more personal motives.
Characters
The Insurance Agent ★ protagonist
Of average height and build, with a somewhat earnest and perhaps slightly worn appearance from years of sales. His movements are likely precise and deliberate, honed by the need to appear trustworthy and persuasive.
Attire: A dark, well-maintained three-piece suit made of wool, likely charcoal grey or navy blue, with a crisp white collared shirt and a conservative silk tie. He might wear a watch chain across his waistcoat. His shoes would be polished leather oxfords.
Wants: To exact revenge on the insurance company that wronged him by causing it financial harm, specifically by selling policies that are likely to result in payouts.
Flaw: His overwhelming desire for revenge makes him reckless and willing to betray his employer, potentially leading to his own downfall if discovered.
The story reveals his true, dark motivation, shifting him from a seemingly ordinary salesman to a complex character driven by a long-held vendetta. His arc is one of revelation rather than transformation within the story's brief scope.
Persuasive, cunning, vengeful, patient, and deeply resentful. He is driven by a long-held grudge.
The Hard Man to Deal With ◆ supporting
Likely a man of sturdy build, perhaps with a somewhat unyielding or skeptical demeanor. His presence suggests a practical, no-nonsense individual not easily swayed by rhetoric.
Attire: Practical, durable clothing, perhaps a tweed jacket or a dark, sturdy suit, indicating a man of business or property but not necessarily ostentatious wealth. His attire would be well-made but functional, reflecting his 'hard to deal with' nature.
Wants: To protect his assets without unnecessary expense, and to understand the true motivations behind any proposal presented to him.
Flaw: His extreme skepticism, while a strength, could also make him miss genuine opportunities or alienate others.
Remains unchanged, serving as the catalyst for the Agent's revelation rather than undergoing a personal transformation.
Skeptical, shrewd, logical, cautious, and resistant to persuasion. He is not easily fooled by sales tactics.
Locations
The Hard Man's House
Likely a private residence, though no specific details are given beyond it being a house that could be insured against fire.
Mood: Initially formal and business-like, then shifting to a more confrontational and skeptical tone.
The initial conversation between the Insurance Agent and the Hard Man to Deal With, where the agent attempts to sell a fire insurance policy.
An Unfrequented Place
A secluded, private spot away from the main area of conversation, chosen for a confidential disclosure.
Mood: Mysterious, conspiratorial, and secretive.
The Insurance Agent reveals his true motive for working for the company: revenge for his betrayed sweetheart.
Story DNA
Moral
Even seemingly straightforward transactions can hide deeper, more personal motives.
Plot Summary
An insurance agent tries to sell a fire policy to a difficult client by exaggerating the risk. When the client points out the logical contradiction of the company betting against a likely event, the agent pulls him aside. He then reveals that he is working for the company under a false identity, seeking revenge because the company betrayed his sweetheart, and he intends to harm it from within.
Themes
Emotional Arc
frustration to revelation
Writing Style
Narrative Elements
Cultural Context
Ambrose Bierce was known for his cynical and often dark humor, frequently satirizing human nature and institutions.
Plot Beats (6)
- An Insurance Agent tries to sell a house policy to a Hard Man to Deal With.
- The Agent vividly describes the danger of the house burning down.
- The Hard Man questions the Agent's sincerity, asking why the company would bet against something the Agent claims is likely.
- The Agent is momentarily silent and thoughtful.
- The Agent pulls the Hard Man aside and whispers a secret.
- The Agent reveals he is working for the company under an assumed name to get revenge because the company betrayed his sweetheart.
