The Broom of the Temple
by Ambrose Bierce · from Fantastic Fables
Adapted Version
Once there was a city called Gakwak. It was a very special city. But one day, a big thing happened! Gakwak was the main city. It might not be the main city now. This was a big problem.
Chief Wampog was the leader. He called all the men. They met in the big Temple. They needed to fix the problem. They talked about what to do.
The first man stood up. He had an idea. They could give a big, funny toy. It was for the sky people. This would make things better.
The second man spoke. He said they could walk around. Chief Wampog would lead them. He would carry a special stick. This was his idea.
A man had an idea. They could hide a little red toy pet. It would be in the park. They would say a magic word. This would help the city.
The fourth man spoke. He said to rub big stone poles. They would use special oil. A person must do this. This was his plan.
All the men spoke. Then Old Man Wise stood up. He was very old. He wanted to talk.
Old Man Wise listened to all. He had new ideas. They needed cleaner water. They needed smoother roads. They could brush street pets. They could give guests a nice drink. They could be kind to all people. These ideas were good.
Old Man Wise had more to say. He opened his mouth.
But the men stopped talking. They saw the floor. It was a little dirty. The men loved to clean. They grabbed brooms. They started to sweep the Temple floor.
The men forgot the big problem. They swept the floor. The broom made the last sound. It was the last speaker. The meeting was over.
So, the big problem was still there. The men of Gakwak loved to clean. But cleaning is not the most key thing. It is key to fix real problems first!
Original Story
The Broom of the Temple
The city of Gakwak being about to lose its character of capital of the province of Ukwuk, the Wampog issued a proclamation convening all the male residents in council in the Temple of Ul to devise means of defence. The first speaker thought the best policy would be to offer a fried jackass to the gods. The second suggested a public procession, headed by the Wampog himself, bearing the Holy Poker on a cushion of cloth-of-brass. Another thought that a scarlet mole should be buried alive in the public park and a suitable incantation chanted over the remains. The advice of the fourth was that the columns of the capitol be rubbed with oil of dog by a person having a moustache on the calf of his leg. When all the others had spoken an Aged Man rose and said:
“High and mighty Wampog and fellow-citizens, I have listened attentively to all the plans proposed. All seem wise, and I do not suffer myself to doubt that any one of them would be efficacious. Nevertheless, I cannot help thinking that if we would put an improved breed of polliwogs in our drinking water, construct shallower roadways, groom the street cows, offer the stranger within our gates a free choice between the poniard and the potion, and relinquish our private system of morals, the other measures of public safety would be needless.”
The Aged Man was about to speak further, but the meeting informally adjourned in order to sweep the floor of the temple—for the men of Gakwak are the tidiest housewives in all that province. The last speaker was the broom.
Story DNA
Moral
Focusing on superficial rituals and absurd solutions distracts from addressing fundamental societal problems.
Plot Summary
The city of Gakwak faces losing its capital status, prompting the Wampog to call a council for solutions. Various citizens propose increasingly absurd and superstitious rituals, such as offering a fried jackass or burying a scarlet mole. An Aged Man then suggests a list of peculiar but practical societal reforms, like improving polliwogs in drinking water and relinquishing private morals. However, before he can finish, the meeting abruptly adjourns so the men can sweep the temple floor, highlighting their misplaced priorities and the futility of their efforts.
Themes
Emotional Arc
frustration to absurdity
Writing Style
Narrative Elements
Cultural Context
Ambrose Bierce was known for his cynical and satirical writing, often critiquing human folly and societal absurdities. This story reflects that style.
Plot Beats (11)
- The city of Gakwak faces losing its capital status.
- The Wampog calls a council in the Temple of Ul to find a solution.
- The first speaker suggests offering a fried jackass to the gods.
- The second proposes a public procession with the Holy Poker.
- Another suggests burying a scarlet mole alive with an incantation.
- The fourth advises rubbing capitol columns with dog oil by a specific person.
- An Aged Man rises to speak after all others have offered their plans.
- The Aged Man acknowledges the proposed plans but suggests practical reforms: improved polliwogs in water, shallower roadways, grooming street cows, offering strangers a choice between poniard and potion, and relinquishing private morals.
- The Aged Man is about to speak further.
- The meeting informally adjourns to sweep the temple floor, as the men of Gakwak are very tidy.
- The last speaker is identified as the broom, emphasizing the triviality that ended the important meeting.
Characters
The Wampog ◆ supporting
A man of authority, likely of average height and build, with a presence that commands respect, though his physical features are not explicitly detailed. His appearance would reflect the cultural context of Gakwak, possibly with darker skin tones and features common to the region.
Attire: As the leader, he would wear ceremonial attire, possibly a tunic or robe made of rich, locally sourced fabrics, perhaps adorned with simple, symbolic embroidery or a sash. The 'cloth-of-brass' mentioned for the cushion suggests a metallic sheen or texture in their ceremonial items, which might be reflected in his own garments.
Wants: To protect the city of Gakwak and maintain its status as the provincial capital.
Flaw: Distracted by mundane tasks and easily diverted from serious matters; perhaps a lack of decisive leadership when faced with unconventional advice.
He initiates a council to solve a problem but is ultimately sidetracked by the city's peculiar customs, failing to resolve the core issue within the story's scope.
Concerned, traditional, open to counsel (initially), somewhat easily swayed by immediate concerns (like sweeping).
Image Prompt & Upload
A middle-aged man of average height and build, with a serious expression, dark skin, and short, dark hair. He wears a simple, flowing tunic of deep indigo linen, cinched at the waist with a woven sash of earth tones. His posture is upright and authoritative. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
The Aged Man ◆ supporting
An elderly man, likely thin and perhaps slightly stooped with age, but possessing a clear and sharp mind. His features would show the wisdom and experience of many years.
Attire: Simple, practical clothing befitting an elder citizen, perhaps a loose-fitting tunic and trousers made of durable, undyed fabric, showing signs of wear but clean.
Wants: To offer genuinely effective, if unorthodox, solutions to the city's problems, cutting through superficial rituals.
Flaw: His wisdom is too unconventional for his audience, leading to him being ignored or misunderstood.
He attempts to bring practical wisdom to a council focused on ritual, but his efforts are cut short, highlighting the city's priorities.
Wise, observant, pragmatic, critical (subtly), unconventional, direct.
Image Prompt & Upload
An elderly man with a thin build and a slight stoop, facing forward. He has a long, wispy white beard and thinning white hair, with deep wrinkles on his face. His eyes are sharp and observant. He wears a simple, loose-fitting tunic of undyed, coarse linen and plain trousers. His expression is thoughtful and slightly wry. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
The Broom ○ minor
A common household broom, made of natural bristles bound to a wooden handle. It would appear well-used but well-maintained, reflecting the tidiness of the men of Gakwak.
Attire: N/A (object)
Wants: N/A (object)
Flaw: N/A (object)
It serves as the ultimate 'speaker' in the story, symbolizing the city's true priorities over the Aged Man's wisdom.
N/A (object)
Image Prompt & Upload
A simple, upright broom with a smooth, light brown wooden handle and natural, stiff straw bristles. The bristles are neatly bound and appear well-used but clean. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
Locations
Temple of Ul
A large, sacred building in the city of Gakwak, serving as a public assembly hall. Its interior is spacious enough to hold all the male residents for a council meeting.
Mood: Initially formal and deliberative, transitioning to chaotic and absurd.
The Wampog convenes all male residents to devise means of defending Gakwak's capital status. The council devolves into absurd suggestions, culminating in the abrupt adjournment to sweep the temple floor.
Image Prompt & Upload
An expansive, ancient temple interior from the fictional province of Ukwuk, featuring high ceilings and massive, smooth stone columns. The floor is made of large, worn flagstones, with scattered debris from a recent large gathering. Soft, diffused light filters in from unseen high windows, casting long, gentle shadows across the empty space. The air is still and slightly dusty. no border, no frame, no watermark, no text, no signature, edge-to-edge illustration.
The City of Gakwak
The capital city of the province of Ukwuk, characterized by its public park, capitol building, and streets where cows roam. The city is facing a potential loss of its capital status.
Mood: A city facing an existential crisis, with a populace known for its tidiness.
The overall setting for the crisis and the council meeting. Various proposals for its defense reference specific urban features.
Image Prompt & Upload
A bustling, ancient city street in the fictional province of Ukwuk, with low-rise, mud-brick and timber buildings lining a wide, unpaved roadway. Street cows wander freely, their coats slightly shaggy. In the distance, the grand, columned facade of the capitol building rises, hinting at civic importance. The sky is a clear, bright blue, and the sunlight is direct and warm, illuminating the dusty ground. no border, no frame, no watermark, no text, no signature, edge-to-edge illustration.
