The Legislator and the Citizen
by Ambrose Bierce · from Fantastic Fables
Adapted Version
Once, there was a man named Mr. Sneaky. He wanted a new job. He went to see Mr. Proper. Mr. Sneaky needed a letter. The letter was for a special job. He asked Mr. Proper for help. Mr. Proper was a very good man. He looked very proper. Mr. Sneaky hoped Mr. Proper would write the letter. He needed this job very much. He smiled at Mr. Proper. Mr. Proper looked back at him. Mr. Sneaky waited for his answer. He stood very still. He really hoped for success.
Mr. Proper looked at Mr. Sneaky. He asked about his old work. 'Were you in the big state building?' Mr. Proper asked. 'Did you have a good job there?' Mr. Proper’s voice was firm. Mr. Sneaky nodded his head. He knew Mr. Proper knew him. Mr. Proper frowned a little. He thought about Mr. Sneaky’s past. He waited for an answer. Mr. Proper did not smile. He looked very grim. His eyes were sharp.
Mr. Sneaky spoke to Mr. Proper. 'I was in a new part,' he said. 'It was not the big building.' Mr. Sneaky looked down. 'I had to leave my job. I did bad things for money. I was not honest then.' He looked sad. Mr. Proper listened well. He did not like this news. He shook his head slowly. Mr. Sneaky felt a little shame. He told the truth. He felt bad.
Mr. Proper was very surprised. He became very angry. 'You did bad things!' he shouted. 'How can you ask for help now?' Mr. Proper stood up. His face was red. 'You are very rude. You were not honest. Now you want my help?' He looked. Mr. Sneaky felt small. Mr. Proper was very mad. He looked very stern. He pointed his finger. He felt much anger.
Mr. Sneaky had a new idea. He looked at Mr. Proper. 'If I get this job,' he said. 'I can help you too. I will have new friends. These friends can help you. They will help you get a job.' Mr. Sneaky smiled. This was a secret deal. Mr. Proper listened well. He thought about this deal. He looked at Mr. Sneaky. His eyes were thoughtful. He saw a chance.
Mr. Proper thought for a moment. His angry face changed. He was not angry then. He looked at Mr. Sneaky. 'Oh,' he said slowly. 'Maybe I can help you after all.' Mr. Proper saw a chance. He wanted help from Mr. Sneaky. He wanted that good job too. He sat back down. His anger was gone. He felt a new plan. He looked at Mr. Sneaky. He felt very eager.
Mr. Proper took his pen. He began to write the letter. He helped Mr. Sneaky. He thought about his own gain. He wrote a little poem. The poem read: 'No money for help. Trade help.' Mr. Proper was not truly proper. He wanted a thing too. He was like Mr. Sneaky. He put the letter down. He gave it to Mr. Sneaky. Mr. Sneaky smiled. He was very happy.
Mr. Proper helped Mr. Sneaky. But Mr. Proper was not truly good. He helped because he wanted something too. Always be honest, not just when easy.
Original Story
The Legislator and the Citizen
An ex-Legislator asked a Most Respectable Citizen for a letter to the Governor recommending him for appointment as Commissioner of Shrimps and Crabs.
“Sir,” said the Most Respectable Citizen, austerely, “were you not once in the State Senate?”
“Not so bad as that, sir, I assure you,” was the reply. “I was a member of the Slower House. I was expelled for selling my influence for money.”
“And you dare to ask for mine!” shouted the Most Respectable Citizen. “You have the impudence? A man who will accept bribes will probably offer them. Do you mean to—”
“I should not think of making a corrupt proposal to you, sir; but if I were Commissioner of Shrimps and Crabs, I might have some influence with the water-front population, and be able to help you make your fight for Coroner.”
“In that case I do not feel justified in denying you the letter.”
So he took his pen, and, some demon guiding his hand, he wrote, greatly to his astonishment:
“Who sells his influence should stop it,
An honest man will only swap it.”
Story DNA
Moral
Those who condemn corruption often participate in it when it serves their own interests.
Plot Summary
An ex-Legislator, expelled for selling influence, asks a 'Most Respectable Citizen' for a letter of recommendation. Initially outraged by the request, the citizen's moral stance crumbles when the ex-Legislator offers future political favors in return. The citizen then writes the letter, adding a cynical couplet that exposes his own hypocrisy, revealing that even 'respectable' individuals are driven by self-interest.
Themes
Emotional Arc
cynicism to deeper cynicism
Writing Style
Narrative Elements
Cultural Context
Ambrose Bierce was known for his cynical view of politics and human nature, often reflecting the corruption prevalent in American politics of his era.
Plot Beats (7)
- An ex-Legislator approaches a Most Respectable Citizen for a letter recommending him for Commissioner of Shrimps and Crabs.
- The Most Respectable Citizen asks if the ex-Legislator was in the State Senate.
- The ex-Legislator clarifies he was in the 'Slower House' and was expelled for selling his influence.
- The Most Respectable Citizen expresses shock and anger at the ex-Legislator's impudence.
- The ex-Legislator counters by offering to use his potential influence as Commissioner to help the Most Respectable Citizen's own campaign for Coroner.
- The Most Respectable Citizen immediately changes his stance, stating he is 'justified in denying' the letter.
- The Most Respectable Citizen writes the letter, guided by a 'demon', including a cynical couplet about selling vs. swapping influence.
Characters
Ex-Legislator ★ protagonist
Average height, slightly stooped shoulders from years of political maneuvering, a build that suggests a past of comfortable living rather than manual labor. His hands might show signs of having held many papers and perhaps a few coins. His overall appearance is that of a man who has seen better days but still maintains a veneer of respectability.
Attire: A slightly rumpled but still presentable dark wool suit, perhaps a bit out of fashion for the current year, with a starched white shirt and a conservative silk tie. The fabric might show signs of wear, but it's clearly an attempt to project a respectable, if slightly faded, professional image. He might wear polished leather shoes.
Wants: To regain a position of influence and financial stability, even if it means resorting to his old methods of trading favors.
Flaw: His lack of moral compass and willingness to compromise his integrity for personal gain.
He remains largely unchanged in his core character, demonstrating that his past expulsion did not alter his fundamental approach to power and influence. He successfully manipulates the Most Respectable Citizen.
Opportunistic, pragmatic, unprincipled, persuasive, resilient.
Image Prompt & Upload
A middle-aged man with a slightly stooped posture, facing forward, full body visible from head to toe. He has a worn face with shrewd, observant grey eyes and thinning, neatly combed salt-and-pepper hair. He wears a slightly rumpled dark wool suit, a starched white shirt, and a conservative silk tie. His hands are clasped loosely in front of him. He has a calculating, slightly deferential expression. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
Most Respectable Citizen ◆ supporting
A man of solid build, likely well-fed and comfortably proportioned, suggesting a life of financial success and perhaps a sedentary lifestyle. He carries himself with an air of self-importance and moral rectitude.
Attire: A meticulously tailored, expensive dark suit, likely made of fine wool, with a crisp white shirt and a silk tie of a rich, conservative color. He might wear a gold watch chain across his waistcoat and highly polished leather shoes. His attire speaks of established wealth and unwavering adherence to societal norms.
Wants: To maintain his public image of respectability and, ultimately, to gain political advantage for himself.
Flaw: His hypocrisy and susceptibility to corruption when it directly benefits him, despite his outward moralizing.
He reveals his true, hypocritical nature by initially condemning the Ex-Legislator's corruption but then agreeing to help when offered a quid pro quo for his own political ambitions. He learns that his own moral code is flexible.
Austerely moralistic (initially), hypocritical, easily swayed by self-interest, judgmental, respectable (in public).
Image Prompt & Upload
A middle-aged man of solid build, standing upright and rigid, facing forward, full body visible from head to toe. He has a stern, unyielding face with dark, piercing eyes and neatly groomed dark hair combed back. He wears a meticulously tailored dark wool suit, a crisp white shirt, and a rich, conservative silk tie. A gold watch chain is visible across his waistcoat. He holds a fine quill pen in his right hand. His expression is initially judgmental, then shifts to a calculating look. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
Locations
Most Respectable Citizen's Study/Office
A private, formal room within a substantial urban residence, likely furnished with heavy, dark wood furniture, a large desk, and possibly bookshelves filled with leather-bound volumes, reflecting the owner's status and austere character. The atmosphere is initially one of stern rectitude.
Mood: Initially formal and austere, shifting to pragmatic and conspiratorial.
The ex-Legislator requests a letter of recommendation, leading to a revealing conversation about political corruption and mutual benefit. The Citizen writes the ironic couplet here.
Image Prompt & Upload
An interior view of a late 19th-century American study. Heavy, dark mahogany wood paneling covers the lower walls, topped by rich green damask wallpaper. A large, ornate executive desk dominates the foreground, with an open inkwell, a quill pen, and a sheet of parchment. Behind the desk, tall, glass-fronted bookshelves are filled with leather-bound volumes. Soft, diffused daylight filters through a tall, leaded-glass window, casting subtle shadows across the polished wooden floor. no border, no frame, no watermark, no text, no signature, edge-to-edge illustration.
