The Man and the Wart
by Ambrose Bierce · from Fantastic Fables
Adapted Version
Once, there was a man. He had a little bump on his nose. This was Mr. Tricky. He walked down the street. He saw another man. He also had a nose bump. This was Mr. Quiet. They met on the street. They looked at each other.
Mr. Tricky spoke to Mr. Quiet. "I have a special club," he said. "It is for people with nose bumps. I am the boss of this club. It is a very important club. A very, very important club. We are a big club now. Many people join my club. Do you want to join us?"
"Our club grows very fast," Mr. Tricky said. "Many people join us. More and more people join. Soon, many, many people will join. Everyone will have a nose bump. Everyone will be in my club. It is a very big club. A powerful club! You should join."
"You can join my special club," Mr. Tricky said. "It costs some money. A small amount of money. It is a joining fee. You must give me five dollars. Then you can be in my club. It is a good deal."
Mr. Quiet did not want to join. He did not like the silly club. He did not like Mr. Tricky. He just wanted to be left alone. "Here is five dollars," Mr. Quiet said. "Keep my name off your list. I do not want to join. I want peace. Please leave me alone."
Mr. Tricky took the money. He put it in his pocket. He smiled a big smile. "Thank you kindly," he said. "This is just like joining my club. Good-bye." He walked away very fast.
Soon, Mr. Tricky came back. He saw Mr. Quiet again. Mr. Quiet was surprised. "I forgot one thing," he said. "There are monthly club fees. You must pay more money. This is for the club each month. You must pay now. Everyone pays these fees." Mr. Tricky was very tricky. He wanted more money.
It is good to be careful. Do not pay tricky people for silly things.
Original Story
The Man and the Wart
A Person with a Wart on His Nose met a Person Similarly Afflicted, and said:
“Let me propose your name for membership in the Imperial Order of Abnormal Proboscidians, of which I am the High Noble Toby and Surreptitious Treasurer. Two months ago I was the only member. One month ago there were two. To-day we number four Emperors of the Abnormal Proboscis in good standing—doubles every four weeks, see? That’s geometrical progression—you know how that piles up. In a year and a half every man in California will have a wart on his Nose. Powerful Order! Initiation, five dollars.”
“My friend,” said the Person Similarly Afflicted, “here are five dollars. Keep my name off your books.”
“Thank you kindly,” the Man with a Wart on His Nose replied, pocketing the money; “it is just the same to us as if you joined. Good-by.”
He went away, but in a little while he was back.
“I quite forgot to mention the monthly dues,” he said.
Story DNA
Moral
Be wary of those who promise grand benefits for a small fee, as they may be exploiting your vulnerabilities.
Plot Summary
A man with a wart on his nose approaches another similarly afflicted man, inviting him to join a rapidly growing, absurd society called the 'Imperial Order of Abnormal Proboscidians' for a five-dollar initiation fee. The second man, wishing to avoid association, pays the fee to be kept off the books. The first man pockets the money, claiming it's 'just the same,' and then promptly returns to demand monthly dues, revealing his true exploitative nature.
Themes
Emotional Arc
manipulation to realization (for the reader)
Writing Style
Narrative Elements
Cultural Context
Ambrose Bierce was known for his cynical and satirical short stories, often exposing human folly and corruption, reflecting a post-Civil War disillusionment.
Plot Beats (7)
- A man with a wart on his nose meets another man with a similar wart.
- The first man introduces himself as the 'High Noble Toby and Surreptitious Treasurer' of the 'Imperial Order of Abnormal Proboscidians'.
- He boasts about the order's rapid growth through 'geometrical progression', claiming it will soon encompass everyone in California.
- He solicits a five-dollar initiation fee for membership.
- The second man, wanting no part of such an order, pays the five dollars to ensure his name is kept off the membership list.
- The first man accepts the money, stating it serves the same purpose as joining, and bids farewell.
- Shortly after departing, the first man returns to demand monthly dues from the second man.
Characters
The Man with a Wart on His Nose ★ protagonist
A man of average height and build, distinguished primarily by a prominent wart located directly on his nose. His complexion is likely unremarkable, serving as a backdrop for this singular facial feature.
Attire: Typical late 19th-century American men's attire, likely a dark, somewhat worn suit jacket, trousers, and a waistcoat, possibly with a simple cravat. His clothes would be functional rather than fashionable, suggesting a practical, perhaps slightly opportunistic, individual.
Wants: To gain money through deceptive means, leveraging a shared physical trait into a fraudulent 'order'.
Flaw: Greed and a lack of genuine empathy, which makes his schemes transparent to those he targets.
He does not change; he remains a con artist, demonstrating his unwavering commitment to his scheme by returning for 'dues'.
Opportunistic, cunning, persuasive, persistent, and somewhat unscrupulous. He quickly identifies and exploits a niche for profit.
Image Prompt & Upload
An adult man of average height and build, standing upright and facing forward. He has a prominent, noticeable wart on the bridge of his nose. His face is somewhat narrow, with shrewd, dark eyes and a thin-lipped smile. He wears a dark, slightly rumpled late 19th-century American suit jacket, a waistcoat, and a white collared shirt with a simple cravat. His dark hair is neatly parted and combed back. He holds a few dollar bills in one hand, tucking them into an inner pocket of his jacket. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
The Person Similarly Afflicted ◆ supporting
An adult man of unspecified height and build, whose most distinguishing feature is a wart on his nose, mirroring that of the first man. His overall appearance is likely ordinary, making the wart stand out.
Attire: Typical late 19th-century American men's attire, similar to the first man, perhaps a dark suit or more casual working clothes, indicating he is an ordinary citizen.
Wants: To avoid entanglement in a fraudulent scheme and to be left alone.
Flaw: His desire for peace and quiet makes him willing to pay a small sum to avoid confrontation or persistent harassment.
He remains unchanged, successfully avoiding the 'order' but losing five dollars in the process.
Perceptive, practical, and quick-witted. He immediately understands the scam and chooses to pay to avoid further involvement rather than join.
Image Prompt & Upload
An adult man of average height and build, standing upright and facing forward. He has a prominent wart on the bridge of his nose. His face is rounder, with tired but intelligent brown eyes and a neutral, slightly wary expression. He wears a dark, simple late 19th-century American suit jacket over a white shirt, with no tie. His dark brown hair is short and practical. He holds out a five-dollar bill in his right hand. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
Locations
Street Corner / Public Meeting Place
A nondescript public space where two strangers might encounter each other, possibly a street corner or a quiet spot in a town square, under the open sky.
Mood: mundane, transactional, slightly absurd
The initial meeting between the two men, where the 'High Noble Toby' attempts to recruit the other into his 'Imperial Order of Abnormal Proboscidians'.
Image Prompt & Upload
A quiet, sun-drenched street corner in a turn-of-the-century Californian town. The ground is a mix of packed dirt and scattered cobblestones. Faint shadows are cast by unseen buildings, suggesting a bright, clear day. A lone, simple wooden lamppost stands near the edge of the frame. The background shows the blurred outlines of modest, two-story brick or timber buildings with simple facades. no border, no frame, no watermark, no text, no signature, edge-to-edge illustration.
