The Noser and the Note
by Ambrose Bierce · from Fantastic Fables
Adapted Version
Once, there was a bank. But this bank had a big problem! The bank had no money. It was very empty. Mr. Bankman worked there. He was the boss. He put his own paper. It had a big number. This number was very big. He put it with the bank's good papers. He hid it there. A man would come soon. He would check the bank.
Mr. Man came to the bank. He looked at the papers. He looked very with care. He saw the big paper. It looked special. He asked, "What is this?" Mr. Man thought it was good money. He thought the bank was rich. He thought it was a good paper.
Mr. Helper spoke to Mr. Man. He looked worried. "That is not good money," he said. "Bank must pay this money." Mr. Helper told him the truth.
Mr. Helper said more. He looked sad. "We used the bank's paper. We used the bank's pens. We did not pay for these things. We did not pay for six months. This was a big problem."
Mr. Man knew now. He looked not happy. "Bank must pay this money," he said. "How will you pay this money?" he asked.
Mr. Helper looked up. He looked very sad. His voice was quiet. "We will be strong," he said. "We will try very hard. We hope for good luck with the rules. The rules are not always strict."
Mr. Man felt very sad for them. He felt very sad. He thought for a moment. "Enough," he said. He gave them a special paper. The paper said the bank was good. The bank could stay open. He gave them the paper.
Mr. Bankman was happy. He smiled big. He gave Mr. Man a nice new pen. "Thank you!" he said. "This is for you." Mr. Man took the pen.
So, the bank was 'good' again. But was it really good? Mr. Bankman was happy, but it was not fair. It is always best to be honest.
Original Story
The Noser and the Note
The Head Rifler of an insolvent bank, learning that it was about to be visited by the official Noser into Things, placed his own personal note for a large amount among its resources, and, gaily touching his guitar, awaited the inspection. When the Noser came to the note he asked, “What’s this?”
“That,” said the Assistant Pocketer of Deposits, “is one of our liabilities.”
“A liability?” exclaimed the Noser. “Nay, nay, an asset. That is what you mean, doubtless.”
“Therein you err,” the Pocketer explained; “that note was written in the bank with our own pen, ink, and paper, and we have not paid a stationery bill for six months.”
“Ah, I see,” the Noser said, thoughtfully; “it is a liability. May I ask how you expect to meet it?”
“With fortitude, please God,” answered the Assistant Pocketer, his eyes to Heaven raising—“with fortitude and a firm reliance on the laxity of the law.”
“Enough, enough,” exclaimed the faithful servant of the State, choking with emotion; “here is a certificate of solvency.”
“And here is a bottle of ink,” the grateful financier said, slipping it into the other’s pocket; “it is all that we have.”
Story DNA
Moral
Corruption can be easily disguised and even rewarded when those in power are complicit or easily swayed.
Plot Summary
An insolvent bank's Head Rifler places his personal note among the bank's assets before an inspection. When the Noser into Things questions the note, the Assistant Pocketer of Deposits cleverly redefines it as a liability, claiming it was written with the bank's unpaid stationery. Moved by the Pocketer's feigned 'fortitude' and reliance on legal loopholes, the Noser declares the bank solvent, receiving a bottle of ink as a subtle bribe from the grateful financier.
Themes
Emotional Arc
cynicism to complicity
Writing Style
Narrative Elements
Cultural Context
Ambrose Bierce was known for his cynical and satirical view of human nature and institutions, often reflecting post-Civil War American society's corruption and moral ambiguities.
Plot Beats (9)
- An insolvent bank's Head Rifler, anticipating an inspection, places his large personal note among the bank's assets.
- The Head Rifler, playing his guitar, awaits the arrival of the official Noser into Things.
- The Noser arrives and questions the large note, mistaking it for an asset.
- The Assistant Pocketer of Deposits corrects him, stating it's a liability.
- The Pocketer elaborates that the note was written using the bank's own unpaid stationery, implying it's an outstanding expense.
- The Noser, now understanding it as a liability, asks how the bank expects to meet it.
- The Pocketer dramatically replies, "With fortitude, please God... and a firm reliance on the laxity of the law."
- Overcome with emotion, the Noser issues a certificate of solvency to the bank.
- The grateful financier (Head Rifler) gives the Noser a bottle of ink as a bribe.
Characters
The Head Rifler ★ protagonist
A man of average height and build, with a somewhat relaxed posture, suggesting a lack of concern despite his precarious financial situation. His movements are likely smooth and unhurried.
Attire: A dark, well-tailored business suit of the late 19th or early 20th century, perhaps made of wool or serge, with a crisp white shirt and a conservative tie. His clothing would appear respectable, belying his fraudulent actions.
Wants: To maintain the illusion of solvency for his bank and avoid legal repercussions, primarily driven by self-preservation and a desire to escape accountability.
Flaw: Overconfidence and a cynical disregard for ethical conduct and the law.
He successfully evades justice and maintains the bank's facade of solvency through a clever deception, reinforcing his opportunistic nature.
Cunning, audacious, calm under pressure, opportunistic, and somewhat flippant.
Image Prompt & Upload
An adult man of average height and build, standing upright, facing forward, full body visible from head to toe. He has a clean-shaven face with a calm, slightly amused expression, and neatly kept dark hair. He wears a dark, well-tailored wool business suit, a crisp white shirt, and a conservative tie. He holds a classical guitar in his left hand, strumming it lightly. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
The Assistant Pocketer of Deposits ◆ supporting
A man of average height and a slightly more nervous or deferential build than the Head Rifler. His movements might be a bit more hesitant, but he is quick to follow his superior's lead.
Attire: A dark, slightly less expensive business suit than the Head Rifler's, perhaps of a sturdy wool blend, with a white shirt and a plain tie, typical of a bank employee in the late 19th or early 20th century.
Wants: To assist his superior in deceiving the Noser and protect his position within the bank, likely out of fear of repercussions or loyalty.
Flaw: Moral flexibility and a willingness to participate in fraud.
He successfully aids in the deception, demonstrating his complicity and quick thinking under pressure.
Loyal (to his superior), quick-witted, adaptable, pious (feigned), and complicit.
Image Prompt & Upload
An adult man of average height and build, standing upright, facing forward, full body visible from head to toe. He has an earnest face with a hint of feigned piety, and neatly combed dark hair. He wears a dark wool blend business suit, a white shirt, and a plain tie. His eyes are raised slightly towards the sky, with a solemn, almost theatrical expression. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
The Noser into Things ⚔ antagonist
A man of authoritative presence, perhaps a bit portly from a life of comfortable bureaucracy. His movements would be deliberate and official.
Attire: A formal, dark suit of good quality, perhaps a frock coat or morning coat, with a waistcoat, white shirt, and a cravat, befitting a government official of the late 19th or early 20th century. He might wear a watch chain across his waistcoat.
Wants: To perform his duty of inspecting the bank's finances and ensure its solvency, but also susceptible to personal gain.
Flaw: His susceptibility to emotional manipulation and bribery, leading him to abandon his duty.
He begins as a diligent inspector but is ultimately corrupted by the bank's deception and a bribe, issuing a false certificate of solvency.
Diligent, observant, initially skeptical, easily swayed by emotional appeals, and ultimately corruptible.
Image Prompt & Upload
An adult man of authoritative presence, slightly portly, standing upright, facing forward, full body visible from head to toe. He has a serious, stern face with sharp, observant eyes, and neatly groomed, possibly graying hair. He wears a formal dark frock coat, a waistcoat, a white shirt, and a cravat, with a watch chain across his waistcoat. He holds a certificate of solvency in his right hand, his expression showing a mix of emotion and official duty. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
Locations
The Insolvent Bank's Main Office
A dimly lit, somewhat disheveled main office of a bank, likely in a late 19th-century American style, with heavy wooden counters and perhaps a few scattered ledgers. The air might carry a faint scent of old paper and dust, hinting at neglect.
Mood: Tense, slightly desperate, yet with an underlying dark humor and cynicism.
The Noser inspects the bank's resources, discovers the questionable note, and is ultimately bribed.
Image Prompt & Upload
An interior view of a late 19th-century American bank's main office. Heavy, dark polished wood counters with brass railings stretch across the foreground, behind which a few scattered, leather-bound ledgers lie open. Dust motes dance in the shafts of weak morning light filtering through tall, grimy windows. The walls are painted a muted, institutional green, and a large, ornate but tarnished brass clock hangs above a vault door in the background. no border, no frame, no watermark, no text, no signature, edge-to-edge illustration.
