GUILTY LOOKS ENTER TREE BEERS
by Howard L. Chace · from Anguish Languish
Adapted Version
Goldie lived near a big forest. Goldie had pretty yellow curls. She lived in a small house. The forest was big and green.
Mother said, "Do not go in!" Animals lived there. Bears lived there. The forest was not safe. Mother warned Goldie many times.
Goldie did not listen to Mother. She walked into the forest alone. She went very deep inside the trees.
Goldie saw a small house. It was a pretty cottage. No one was home. Goldie opened the door. She walked right inside.
Inside, Goldie saw three bowls on the table. They had warm porridge in them. One bowl was too hot. One bowl was too cold. One bowl was just right. Goldie ate all the porridge.
Then Goldie saw three chairs. One chair was too big. One chair was too soft. One chair was just right. Goldie sat on the small chair. It broke into pieces.
Goldie went upstairs. She saw three beds. One bed was too hard. One bed was too soft. One bed was just right. Goldie felt sleepy. She fell asleep in the small bed.
Soon, the bears came home. Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and Baby Bear. They picked berries in the forest. They walked into their small house.
Papa Bear looked around. He saw something was wrong. Mama Bear looked at the table. She saw the bowls of porridge. Someone touched the porridge.
Baby Bear saw his small bowl. "My porridge is gone!" he cried. He saw his small chair. "My chair is broken!" Baby Bear cried.
Mama Bear felt worried. "Someone is in our house!" she said. "A person is here!" Papa Bear looked.
The three bears went upstairs. They looked in the bedroom. They saw Goldie sleeping. She was in the small bed.
Goldie woke up. She saw the bears. Goldie was scared. She jumped out of bed. She ran to the window. Goldie jumped out. She ran away fast.
The bears talked about Goldie. Papa Bear looked at Baby Bear. "It is not safe there," he said. "Always listen to Mama Bear and me. Always stay safe."
Goldie learned a big lesson that day. It is always best to listen to your mother and stay safe.
Original Story
GUILTY LOOKS ENTER TREE BEERS
Wants pawn term dare worsted ladle gull hoe hat search putty yowler coils debt pimple colder Guilty Looks. Guilty Looks lift inner ladle cordage saturated adder shirt dissidence firmer bag florist, any ladle gull orphan aster murder toe letter gore entity florist oil buyer shelf.
“Guilty Looks!” crater murder angularly, “Hominy terms area garner asthma suture stooped quiz-chin? Goiter door florist? Sordidly NUT!”
“Wire nut, murder?” wined Guilty Looks, hoe dint peony tension tore murder’s scaldings.
“Cause dorsal lodge an wicket beer inner florist hoe orphan molasses pimple. Ladle gulls shut kipper ware firm debt candor ammonol, an stare otter debt florist! Debt florist’s mush toe dentures furry ladle gull!”
Wail, pimple oil-wares wander doe wart udder pimple dum wampum toe doe. Debt’s jest hormone nurture. Wan moaning, Guilty Looks dissipater murder, an win entity florist.
Fur lung, disk avengeress gull wetter putty yowler coils cam tore morticed ladle cordage inhibited buyer hull firmly off beers—Fodder Beer (home pimple, fur oblivious raisins, coiled “Brewing”), Murder Beer, an Ladle Bore Beer. Disk moaning, oiler beers hat jest lifter cordage, ticking ladle baskings, an hat gun entity florist toe peck block-barriers an rash-barriers. Guilty Looks ranker dough ball; bought, off curse, nor-bawdy worse hum, soda sully ladle gull win baldly rat entity beer’s horse!
Honor tipple inner darning rum, stud tree boils fuller sop—wan grade bag boiler sop, wan muddle-sash boil, an wan tawny ladle boil. Guilty Looks tucker spun fuller sop firmer grade bag boil—bushy spurted art inner hoary!
“Arch!” crater gull, “Debt sop’s toe hart—barns mar mouse!”
Dingy traitor sop inner muddle-sash boil, witch worse toe coiled. Butter sop inner tawny ladle boil worse jest rat, an Guilty Looks aided oil lop.
Dingy nudist tree cheers—wan anomalous cheer, wan muddle-sash cheer, an wan tawny ladle cheer. Guilty Looks set darn inner ladle cheer, bushy worse toe bag ferret, ant soddenly bustard.
Clamming upper stars tutor beer’s bet-rum, Guilty Looks dish-cupboard tree bets—wan grade bag bet, wan muddle-sash bet, an wan tawny ladle bet. Failing torrid, shay flunker shelf honor ladle bet, an, jester cobbler menace letter, worse sunder slip an snorting.
Inner ladle wile, donors offer cordage cam beck firmer barrier-pecking extradition, currying baskings fuller rash-barriers. Whinny entity darning rum, Fodder Beer stuttered snuffing an gruelling tomb shelf.
“Warts ban goring earn hair?” crumpled dole beer, “Conjure small psalm-sing deferent a boarder horse?”
“Crashes!” crater murder beer, ashy castor quack glands adder tipple, “Hose ban muddling wet debt sop?”
Ladle Bore Beer stuttered crayon.
“Jest locket mar ladle boiler sop—oil garbled dope! An locket mar itchy pitchy cheer—oil bustard!”
Locking adder bustard cheer, Murder Beer bay-gander gat historical, an stuttered hurling tore horsebarn:
“Brewing! Brewing! Way gut BURGHERS inner horse. HORSE BURGHERS! Quack! Coiler place! Wail, dun stun dare lacking end-bustle during nosing! Coiler Place Deportment, quack!”
“Harmer garner coiler Place Deportment wen way dun heifer toiler-fun?” resplendent Brewing, inner trampling verse. “Set darn, worming, an cape quoit! Yore oil-wares thanking dare burghers inner horse!”
Oiler shame, Brewing worse jesters scarred aster udders; infect, haze niece war shagging.
Finely, Fodder Beer gutter grade bag short-gum, Murder Beer gutter muddle-sash haunting raffle, an Ladle Bore Beer gutter tawny ladle pestle, an oiler beers crypt upper stars, ware Guilty Looks worse line honor bet, sunder slip an snorting. Herring door beers, shay weakened, lipped otter door windrow, an dished aware harm jesters fascist shagged scrabble.
Oiler beers tar darner stars, an stuttered toe locker doers an windrows.
“Fodder,” aster ladle bore beer, finely, “Wart worse debt discussing crasher honor bet? Wart worse debt ogling ammonol wet oil debt yowler far honor had, an hoe dint half nor far atoll honor beck? Wart worse debt hobble lurking crasher, Fodder?”
Fodder Beer shuttered.
“Comb hair, mar bore. Heresy gut lessen furrier! Debt discussing crasher worsen HORMONE BANG! Kipper ware firm debt candor ammonol! Dare nor gut! Warts mar, are dun wander catcher goring entity florist oil bar yore shelf. Debt florist’s mush toe dentures furry ladle beer!”
Story DNA
Moral
Disobeying warnings can lead to dangerous situations, and venturing into forbidden places can have unpleasant consequences.
Plot Summary
A disobedient girl named Guilty Looks ignores her mother's warnings and ventures into a dangerous forest. She discovers an empty cottage belonging to a family of bears and enters. Inside, she samples their porridge, tries their chairs (breaking one), and falls asleep in the smallest bed. The bears return home, discover the intruder, and confront Guilty Looks, who wakes up and flees in terror. The story concludes with the bears reiterating the dangers of the forest, reinforcing the lesson of disobedience.
Themes
Emotional Arc
curiosity to fear to relief
Writing Style
Narrative Elements
Cultural Context
Howard L. Chace was known for his phonetic transcriptions of popular stories and songs, a form of literary humor popular in the mid-20th century.
Plot Beats (14)
- Guilty Looks, a girl with yellow curls, lives with her mother near a dangerous forest.
- Her mother repeatedly warns her not to enter the forest due to the presence of 'wicket beers'.
- One morning, Guilty Looks disobeys her mother and enters the forest alone.
- She finds a cottage and, finding no one home, boldly enters.
- Inside, she finds three bowls of porridge: one too hot, one too cold, and one just right, which she eats entirely.
- She then tries three chairs, breaking the smallest one.
- Upstairs, she finds three beds and falls asleep in the smallest one.
- The bear family (Fodder Beer, Murder Beer, and Ladle Bore Beer) returns home from picking berries.
- Fodder Beer notices something amiss, and Murder Beer sees the disturbed porridge.
- Ladle Bore Beer cries upon finding his porridge eaten and his chair broken.
- Murder Beer becomes hysterical, believing there are 'burghers' (burglars) in the house.
- The bears arm themselves and go upstairs, where they find Guilty Looks sleeping.
- Guilty Looks wakes up, sees the bears, and quickly escapes through the window.
- The bears discuss the strange creature and Fodder Beer reiterates the danger of the forest to Ladle Bore Beer.
Characters
Guilty Looks ★ protagonist
A small, young girl, likely slender given her age. Her most striking feature is her 'putty yowler coils' (pretty yellow curls), which are abundant on her head but she has 'nor far atoll honor beck' (no hair at all on her back), suggesting a very specific, perhaps bobbed or short-layered hairstyle that frames her face.
Attire: Not explicitly described, but as a 'ladle gull' living in a 'ladle cordage,' she would likely wear simple, practical clothing suitable for a child in a rural setting, perhaps a plain dress or smock made of linen or cotton, possibly with an apron.
Wants: Driven by curiosity and a desire to do what she's forbidden, to explore the unknown (the forest).
Flaw: Her disobedience and recklessness, which lead her into dangerous situations.
She learns a harsh lesson about the dangers of disobedience and venturing into forbidden places, likely becoming more cautious.
Disobedient, curious, adventurous, self-centered (dint peony tension tore murder's scaldings), easily frightened.
Image Prompt & Upload
A small child, female, standing upright, facing forward, full body visible from head to toe. She has an abundance of bright yellow, tightly coiled curls framing her face, but her back is smooth and hairless. She has a round, curious face with wide, innocent blue eyes and fair skin. She wears a simple, light blue linen smock dress with short sleeves and a white apron tied at the waist, and plain brown leather shoes. She holds her hands clasped in front of her, with a slightly mischievous yet innocent expression. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
Murder (Guilty Looks' Mother) ◆ supporting
Not explicitly described, but as a mother living in a 'ladle cordage,' she would likely be a woman of average build, perhaps showing signs of a life of labor.
Attire: As a mother in a 'ladle cordage,' she would wear simple, durable peasant clothing, such as a long skirt, a blouse, and an apron, made of sturdy fabrics like linen or wool in muted colors.
Wants: To keep her daughter safe from the dangers of the forest.
Flaw: Her inability to fully control her daughter's curiosity and disobedience.
Remains consistent in her protective role, her warnings are validated by the story's events.
Stern, protective, cautious, easily angered by disobedience, responsible.
Image Prompt & Upload
An adult woman, standing upright, facing forward, full body visible from head to toe. She has a firm, worried expression on her face, with a slight frown. Her dark brown hair is pulled back into a neat bun. She has a sturdy build and fair skin. She wears a long, dark green linen skirt, a cream-colored long-sleeved blouse, and a practical brown wool apron tied over it. Her hands are clasped in front of her, conveying a sense of concern. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
Fodder Beer (Brewing) ◆ supporting
A very large, adult male bear, described as 'grade bag' (great big). He is likely covered in thick, dark fur.
Attire: None, as he is a bear, but he is anthropomorphized to live in a cottage and use human items.
Wants: To protect his family and home, to understand and deal with the intruder.
Flaw: Fear, which makes him hesitant to act decisively at first.
Starts as the patriarch, becomes scared, but ultimately takes charge in the investigation and provides a moral lesson to his son.
Initially calm and observant ('stuttered snuffing an gruelling tomb shelf'), then fearful ('jesters scarred aster udders'), protective of his family and home, somewhat pragmatic ('dun heifer toiler-fun?').
Image Prompt & Upload
A very large, adult male bear, standing upright on two legs, facing forward, full body visible from head to toe. He has thick, shaggy dark brown fur, a broad snout, and small, dark eyes. He holds a large, old-fashioned double-barreled shotgun in his paws, resting it against his shoulder. His posture is initially imposing but shows a hint of nervousness. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
Murder Beer ◆ supporting
An adult female bear, described as 'muddle-sash' (middle-sized), implying she is smaller than Fodder Beer but larger than Ladle Bore Beer. She is likely covered in thick fur.
Attire: None, as she is a bear, but she is anthropomorphized to live in a cottage and use human items.
Wants: To protect her home and family, to react to the intrusion.
Flaw: Her tendency to become hysterical under stress.
Remains consistent in her role as the emotional and reactive member of the family.
Agitated, quick to anger, prone to hysteria, protective, observant ('castor quack glands adder tipple').
Image Prompt & Upload
A middle-sized adult female bear, standing upright on two legs, facing forward, full body visible from head to toe. She has thick, shaggy dark brown fur, a slightly narrower snout than the male bear, and alert, angry eyes. She holds a medium-sized hunting rifle in her paws, held defensively. Her posture is tense and agitated, with a slightly open mouth as if about to exclaim. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
Ladle Bore Beer ◆ supporting
A small, young male bear, described as 'ladle' (little) and 'tawny' (tiny). He is the smallest of the bear family, covered in fur.
Attire: None, as he is a bear, but he is anthropomorphized to live in a cottage and use human items.
Wants: To understand what happened to his belongings and who the intruder was.
Flaw: His emotional sensitivity and vulnerability due to his small size.
Experiences the intrusion firsthand, leading to a lesson from his father about the dangers of the forest.
Sensitive, easily upset, observant (notices his 'boiler sop' and 'cheer'), curious ('Fodder, aster ladle bore beer, finely, Wart *worse* debt discussing crasher honor bet?').
Image Prompt & Upload
A small, young male bear cub, standing upright on two legs, facing forward, full body visible from head to toe. He has soft, shaggy dark brown fur, a small snout, and large, tearful dark eyes. He holds a tiny, old-fashioned pistol in his paws, held loosely. His posture is slumped and sad, with a quivering lip, as if about to cry. Plain white background, full body visible head to toe, single figure, no watermark, no text, no signature.
Locations
Guilty Looks' Cottage
A small, simple cottage where Guilty Looks lives with her mother, located a short distance from the edge of a large forest.
Mood: Initially restrictive, then a place of departure and disobedience.
Guilty Looks disobeys her mother and leaves for the forest.
Image Prompt & Upload
A small, weathered timber-frame cottage with a thatched roof, nestled at the edge of a dense, dark forest. A narrow, overgrown dirt path leads away from the front door. The morning light is soft and diffused, casting gentle shadows. Wildflowers grow around the base of the cottage walls. no border, no frame, no watermark, no text, no signature, edge-to-edge illustration.
The Forest
A large and wicket forest, described as dangerous, where bears often 'molest' people. It contains block-barriers and rash-barriers (blackberries and raspberries).
Mood: Foreboding and dangerous, yet alluring to Guilty Looks.
Guilty Looks ventures into the forest, and the three bears go into the forest to pick berries.
Image Prompt & Upload
A dense, ancient European forest with towering oak and beech trees, their canopies forming a thick, dappled green ceiling. Sunlight filters through the leaves, creating shifting patterns on the mossy forest floor. Thorny blackberry and raspberry bushes with ripe fruit line a narrow, winding dirt path. The air feels cool and still. no border, no frame, no watermark, no text, no signature, edge-to-edge illustration.
The Bears' Cottage - Dining Room
A modest cottage inhabited by a family of bears. The dining room contains a table with three bowls of 'sop' (porridge) of different sizes, and three chairs of corresponding sizes.
Mood: Initially quiet and inviting, then disturbed and chaotic.
Guilty Looks enters the house, tastes the porridge, and breaks the small chair. The bears discover the disturbance upon their return.
Image Prompt & Upload
A rustic, cozy dining room inside a simple, sturdy timber-frame cottage. A rough-hewn wooden table stands center, with three mismatched wooden chairs (one large, one medium, one small, the smallest now broken). Three ceramic bowls, also of varying sizes, sit on the table. Warm, soft light streams through a small window, illuminating dust motes in the air. no border, no frame, no watermark, no text, no signature, edge-to-edge illustration.
The Bears' Cottage - Bedroom
Located upstairs in the bears' cottage, this room contains three beds of different sizes.
Mood: Peaceful and sleepy, then tense and alarming.
Guilty Looks falls asleep in the smallest bed. The bears discover her there, and she escapes through the window.
Image Prompt & Upload
A simple, dimly lit bedroom upstairs in a rustic timber cottage. Three beds of varying sizes, each with plain quilts, are arranged in the room. The smallest bed, made of simple wooden planks, has a figure sleeping soundly. A small, open casement window looks out onto green foliage. The air is still and quiet. no border, no frame, no watermark, no text, no signature, edge-to-edge illustration.
